This one is going to upset some of you folks, because it sure as heck upset us! Recent reports have surfaced claiming to have discovered Lisa Vanderpump’s hidden tattoo, but we’re not going to accept them. We’re sure by now you’ve looked at the photos on this page, taken while she was getting her nails done, and assumed that the little peanut on her ankle is the “tattoo” in question; you’re right, but we’re not going to give her any credit. The thing on the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” star’s lower leg is definitely an ink mark put into her skin by an electric needle, sure, we’ll give her that. However, that “piece” represents one of our least favorite things in the world: tattoos so small that they might as well not exist. It’s suspected that the little niblet is a heart of some sort (looks more like some kind of play on the infinity symbol to us), but whatever it is obviously isn’t important enough to take up real space. If it means a lot to her and it’s for something special, than we’re sorry if we upset her, but it’s hard for us to believe that it’s anything that important when it’s barely visible. Ink like this just screams ”I want to say I’m tattooed but don’t really want to commit to getting a real tattoo”, and we are strongly against non-committal tattoo work. The whole point of getting ink is that you’re marking yourself permanently, that you’re committing to having something on your body. So when you half-ass a tattoo, it shows us that you don’t really mean it. Look, we all have tattoos that we aren’t happy with, but they remind us of times in our life and where we came from, and if they’re bad they remind us that we’ve made mistakes. Getting a piece that small breaks our code, and we’re not happy about that. In her defense, she doesn’t actually show it off, so she’s not looking for credit, but to those who are trying to say that “she has a wild side” or a “hidden past”: drop it, that tattoo only shows that she doesn’t go big.
Nothing says “Happy Thanksgiving” like a turkey tattoo! Wait…what? Yes folks, that’s right, people actually have turkey tattoos…tattoos…of farm birds. When we decided to look into the idea of tattoos designed after the staple dish of Thanksgiving, we figured that we’d find at least a few pictures of people crazy enough to get gobblers inked on their bodies, but we never thought that there’d be enough of them that we could say that we’re showing you “only some of them”! Apparently, there’s a ton of people in this world who have decided that of all of the things that they could permanently place on their bodies, creatures famous for being dumb enough to accidentally drown themselves during rain storms (we’re unsure if that’s a real fact or an urban legend, but that doesn’t weaken our resolve to write it in the slightest) are on the top of the list. We have to admit, a lot of the designs that we’ve seen are actually very well done, but that doesn’t change the fact that they’re tattoos of freaking turkeys. We figure that all of these pieces fall into one of two categories: 1) They’re to commemorate a life began on a farm, a farm that had a turkey that we will assume helped the tattooed through a rough time in his or her life, most likely with hilarious consequences (bonus points if the turkey can talk). 2) Someone got really drunk the night before Thanksgiving and has terrible friends who didn’t stop them from paying to have a barn buzzard scarred onto their skin. Unfortunately, most of the tattoos on this page probably fall into the later category. Regardless of why people got them, we’re just happy that turkey tattoos are a thing, and we hope that people keep getting them during drunken Thanksgiving Eve bad decision fests. Why? Because cornucopia tattoos would be way more stupid.
We’re losing one folks! Another member of the tattooed community has decided to forsake their ink and lead a life of plain skin; we can’t hate her for the decision, only wish her the best. The soon to be former tattooed person we’re talking about today is Kelly Osbourne. The daughter of Ozzy and Sharon (who most of us still only refer to as “SHARON!!” in honor of Ozzy’s epic annunciation of her name during their time as reality stars) has found success in recent years as a member of the “Fashion Police” and as an overall trend setter, becoming more famous to younger generations than even her rock legend father. In fact, for those of you who are too young to understand, Ozzy Osbourne was the lead singer of Black Sabbath, one of the greatest…aw screw it, he was the original singer of that song from the commercial where the little kids sing acapella in the jeep. Whatever, Kelly is really famous now, going from somewhat troubled, out-casted, and overweight teen to cultural icon, and as she completes her transition to the next phase of her life (one that will soon include marriage), she’s decided that she’s over her ink and has begun to process of getting most of her fifteen tattoos removed. She began the lengthy endeavor in early November of 2013 by starting laser treatments for the keyboard tattoo on her right forearm. She says that she got it while depressed and that it doesn’t mean the same thing to her anymore, so we assume that’s why it’s the first one on the block. We’ve heard varying accounts of the pain associated with laser tattoo removal, with some of our toughest friends saying it’s a nightmare and some of our softest buddies saying it was a walk in the park. We have to imagine that the pain has to do with the inks placement, the coloring, and one’s skin type. If you’re the type who sunburns easily, having a laser literally melt your flesh probably won’t feel too great. We’ve yet to figure out if Osbourne is now against ink in general, or if she just doesn’t think that it’s for her. Her Tweet about the removal was to the effect of “I did the crime, now I’m doing the time.”, which seems anti-ink to us, but she doesn’t seem like the type to just go against something like that, so maybe it’s just a poor choice of words. We guess time will tell, and if we see her bad mouthing body art on “Fashion Police”, we’ll know where she stands. Regardless, we wish Kelly the best of luck with her procedures!
Lady Gaga is really good at sticking out. Whether it’s her classic meat-suit or the sorcerer’s gauntlet thingy that she’s wearing on her hand in the above photo, she’s always doing something to separate herself from the rest of the pack. With that said, it should come as no surprise that her recent tattoo (one of many) wasn’t the standard run-of-the-mill ink that most other pop starlets get. No, it wasn’t your classic Miley Cyrus “Look how rebellious I am” poem, or you Selena Gomez-esque “It’s a bird because I want to spend my whole life flying free, aren’t I interesting” piece; instead it’s a prison tattoo. No, not a picture of Folsum or Alcatraz (although now that we think about it, it’d be a great idea to get a picture like that inked on one of our arms and than when people ask about it respond “that’s my prison tat”), but instead a tattoo done in the classic style of prison inking. Well that’s a lie, we don’t think that it was done with a broken pen and a heroine needle, but it was instead done to resemble the kind of work that one would get during a stay at the never-leave hotel. Done while on a trip to Brazil, the piece says “RIO”, but the “I” is replaced with a crucifix; it’s based on a design that a fan made for her. It’s not terrible looking, and in fact it gets the point across about the whole prison thing, but we can’t help but not like it that much. We dig the idea of getting something that a fan made for her inked on her neck permanently (did we leave the neck part out before? It makes the whole thing a lot more “prisony”), but we can’t help but point out that LADY GAGA HAS NEVER BEEN TO PRISON! It’s not something you can really fake the funk on, and not something that people of high moral fiber are usually proud of. It’s different, we’ll give her that, but she’s kind of crossing a poser line with this one, and we don’t like it. Now if she got it done in a back alley by a guy named “Roach” with a broken printer cartridge and a safety pin, maybe we’d be impressed, but for now, we’re not fans of Gaga’s new Poker Face…neck…we tried to get that song in there, sorry.
Miley Cyrus, you’ve done it again! What’s the “it” in this particular case? Well it’s “got a stupid tattoo” of course! We try really hard around these parts to not bash anyone’s ink because we know what it’s like to get something done in the moment and then not be super psyched about it afterwards (case in point: one of our staffer’s “Boondock Saints” piece). We try to say that even the worst body art should represent at least a reminder to its beholder of the time in their life when they got it. However, we can’t help but think that some pieces are the result of a complete lack of logical thinking…Miley’s new foot ink is one of those pieces.
The “Rolling Stone” cover girl and “We Can’t Stop” singer wanted to do something fun with her interviewer from the popular magazine, so she took him to a tattoo parlor. She said that she initially considered taking him to play laser tag or to go bowling, but that she decided those were lame ideas…there’s nothing lame about simulated combat between friends and/or simulated combat between a man and some pieces of wood, but that’s an arguement for another day. So yeah folks, she took the guy to get inked, and while it seems that the journalist didn’t have anything done, she made the most of the oppurtunity and get some new ridiculous ink. In honor of the her first time gracing the cover of the legendary magazine, she got “Rolling $tone” inked on…the bottoom of her feet. Yeah, the bottom of her feet, the part of her body that has basically zero chance of holding ink for more than a few weeks. Unless she confines herself to a wheel chair, the tattoo is more of an art project/stunt than it is an actual permanent marking because the amount of time the average person spends on their feet will rub all of the ink out in a fairly short time. Coincidentally, her foot piece might not be the only tat that she loses in the next few months, as rumors have been swirling that she’s going to have the “matching” ink that she got with her ex love Liam Hemsworth removed. The Teddy Roosevelt quote that they had split across their respective arms in 2012 might be getting lasered or covered by something else in the near future. If she gets it covered than it will be a little messy because the current piece is a little spread out, so we assume that she’ll go laser or possibly just add his half somewhere on her body and make the piece her own. Whatever she decides, we’ll keep you posted!
He was born Keith McCurdy, but thanks to a double-gun tattoo on his neck, people call him “Bang Bang”, and his legacy might live on long after the celebrities he finds himself connected to are gone from the spotlight. Working out of sleek shop in Manhatten, New York (complete with an underground privacy room and an art gallery/waiting area), Bang Bang is one of, if not the most famous tattoo artists in the game. With a client list that includes Rihanna, Amar’e Stoudemire, Rita Ora, Katy Perry, and Justin Bieber, the Delaware-born inker is on top of the body art world; he deserves to be for doing some of the best work in the business.
He started tattooing in his late teens with a crappy kit in his mom’s kitchen, and within a year he was tattooing all of his friends and relatives, honing his craft and getting ready to pursue his dreams as a true artist. He soon found himself working in shops in New York, bringing his truly artistic style to the masses and gaining fame for his first celebrity client Rihanna. His personal style, which he says was inspired by the Japanese and focuses more on the body interacting with the art than just the art, paved the way for more celebrity clients to sit in his chair, and now he’s the man. He’s also a major representative of the new breed of artists in the game, as he is respected as a true craftsman and not just some dude who stabs bikers with an electric needle. His art is mainstream, and that’s great for tattooed people everywhere. People like him are a big part of the reason people like us aren’t being starred at like we’re freaks anymore, because now we have “body art”; that’s pretty awesome. It’s also awesome that he has his client ink him after he works on them…a little dangerous, but pretty hardcore. His personal collection features work from Rihanna, Justin Bieber, and the EMT that saved his mother’s life. Bang Bang is the new deal folks, and the deal is a good. Here’s some of his work, and some of “his work”…feel free to be confused by that sentence.
It’s not a rare occurance for a celebrity to get an “interesting” tattoo; we see them on everyone from Justin Bieber (that ridiculous mouse that he has inked on him) to our own staff (the person writing this article may or may not have a “Boondock Saints” tattoo…and also isn’t a celebrity by any stretch of the imagination). However, most people get their more bold ink in spots that are easy to cover up, or get the pieces put into sleaves so that they blend; British pop princess Cheryl Cole went harder than the rest of us.
The famed singer and judge on both the UK and United States versions of “The X-Factor” recently spent fifty-five (55!!!) hours in the parlor chair getting a giant group of roses inked on her butt, upper hamstrings, and lower back. This thing is friggin’ huge! Seriously folks, it’s one of the biggest boo-saka tats we’ve ever seen, and although it’s well done and looks surprisingly good on her, we’ve got to question the choice just a little bit. She’s known for her talent and her sexy looks, and while we think that chicks with ink rock (she rocks especially hard for singing her way through her time in the chair, she says it helped her deal with the pain) , not everyone feels the same way; some people are strongly turned off by body art. We’re basically saying that her roughly $20 thousand worth of ink swings her too far to one side of culture, and we don’t think that she’s the type of entertainer who can afford to be too much of anything. She’s got a great voice, but her whole gig is kind of generic (no offense meant, we couldn’t do what she does in a million years) and trying to stand out like this might get her pushed out of mainstream favor. In fact, there’s already been a ton of backlash aimed at the Brit’s decision to forever change her derier, as many critics have called her a bad role model and claimed that she’s ruining her body. Of course none of that matters even a little bit because it’s her body and it’s really none of our business to give her flack about anything she does that doesn’t directly effect her quality of life. If she wants to ink her bottom, she can, and there’s nothing we can do but be impressed by her go-hard attitude…and comment on it…and then crap on people for commenting on it. Welcome to the internet folks!
Here at the old tattoo viewing shop, we try not to be too hard on people in regards to their choices of ink. After all, we’ve all made “mistakes” and gotten things that at one point represented how we felt about the world but soon became symbols of our mislead youth and/or early thirties. Actually, if we’re being completely honest about the whole thing, it’s hard for us to really ever consider any ink gotten while sober to be a mistake; whether it had particular meaning or was just the end result of losing a bet, all body art should at least serve as a time capsule of the life we were leading when we got it and shouldn’t really be looked down upon. However, when you’re a millionare and you pay someone good money to ink something on you and they spell it wrong…that’s a whole other story. Case in point, former “Heroes” actress Hayden Panettiere, who is currently in the process of getting her side tattoo removed.
A few years back, the pint sized starlet wanted to get “live without regrets” put on her body in Italian, and she did…except for the fact that the artist misspelled the last word (he/she wrote “rimpiati” and “rimipiati”). So now after years of regretting not paying attention to the etching of her tattoo that tells her not to regret things, she’s going under the laser to have that sucker burned off. The process is said to be very painful and is usually only done by people who are trying to get rid of gang tats and the names of their exes, so it must really bother the little lady that her ribs need a spell check. So as she gets her mistaken ink removed, she seems to not be taking much time to rest and recoup, because she’s out and about frolicking in the waves and enjoying herself. She must be pretty excited about having her ink taken off. We don’t know if she’s going to get it redone or not, but we think that she should, if just to prove that she doesn’t regret it. We’ll keep you posted, and if she has it done over, we’ll have the pictures!
We’ve got a bit of a double header for you today folks; we’ve got a depressing-ish story and something awesome. Since they both involve “Game”, of the “the” and “a” varieties to be more specific, we’re going to present them to you in one convenient package! So which one do you want first? The kind of grim one right? No one ever says they want the good news first, if they do they’re probably a Communist or a hipster. So yeah, let’s talk about The Game’s new ink.
The “Leave It or Love It” rapper recently sat in the parlor chair for over seven hours to get tattoos in honor of deceased rap icon Nate Dogg and slain teenager Trayvon Martin (we all know who he is; so please folks, this is a tattoo site, keep the social commentary to yourselves). His reasoning behind the Nate Dogg piece is pretty obvious; he’s a rapper and he’s paying tribute to one of the greats of his craft. The Trayvon tattoo is a bit more complicated, as explaining it would cause us to delve into the kind of commentary that we’re just not smart enough to take part in. However, it should be noted that The Game’s picture was used in a widely spread chain e-mail that was sent around during the George Zimmerman (the man who killed Martin) trial. It was incorrectly posted in the letter as a picture of “the real Trayvon Martin”, so he has a tenuous, albeit somewhat legitimate connection to the siituation. Both pieces were done on his left leg, and both were very well done. They were stenciled from photos of the two iconic individuals, and the artist (Roman Abrego) did a great job on both. So now that we talked about the tribute pieces, let’s discuss something a little more lighthearted…the” Konami Code”…in tattoo form!
The little gem that you’ve no doubt already seen (we know that you scroll through all the pictures before reading the articles) is an ink representation of the famous code from the Nintendo version of “Contra”. The code was “up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, A, B, Start” (you added “select” if there were two players), and it got you thirty lives in the notoriously hard game. The awesome piece belongs to a guy named Kevin Pacheco, and it’s one of the nerdiest and coolest tattoos we’ve ever seen!
So in the end folks, this article proves that tattoos are there for the good times and the bad, but they’re there for life.
Someone always has to ruin it for the rest of us…every…freaking…time. Much like Hitler gave weird mini-mustaches a bad name when he decided to make an inept attempt to take over the world, Aaron Hernandez has probably set athletes with tattoos back a solid three decades by being a complete piece of crap. How has he set us all back? Well the act…or * ahem *…acts that he’s perpetrated to set his brother in ink back are multiple shootings, one of which was a murder. Not only did the former New England Patriot’s tight end shoot one of his former friends a while back, but he recently orchestrated one of the sloppiest and most poorly planned murders in history. So now as the heavily tattooed Hernandez awaits a trial that will almost surely produce a conviction or a lengthy plea deal, the National Football League (NFL) is reportedly considering bringing in experts to review the tattoos of incoming players (signed from the draft or as rookie free agents) to rule or confirm possible gang ties and/or criminal ties. You got it folks, just as having tattoos was becoming just another thing, this idiot has gone and turned every kid with a quick forty yard dash and some bad tribal work into a possible perp. We have to imagine that the NFL Players Association (NFLPA) will take issue with the idea, but seeing as how Hernandez reportedly is/was in his high school days a gang member who may in fact have gang tattoos on him, it’s going to be a hard point to argue. It should also be noted that experts have expressed concern that Hernandez will be a target in jail because of his possibly criminal ink, but we’re pretty sure the a dude of his size with the kind of bank account and reputation was going to be a target anyway, so his ink is kinf of a moot point. We would’ve been more surprised if no one messed with him, especially people who hate the Patriots and lack mental stability…which is a ton of people. Anyhow, once this practice becomes common in football, expect it to find its way into other leagues and sports. So if you’re trying to make a career out of being an athlete, maybe reconsider getting your block number inked on your arm, or be ready to spend a lot of cash on laser removal when the time comes to pose for that Wheaties box.