That guy seems nice…and terrifying. So fair readers, if you’re anything like our friend in the picture above, you may find yourself in jail someday. It may be for just a night, it may be for just a month, or it may be for a long enough time that you’re going to have to learn the ropes and know what to look out for as you spend life inside of a cell-block. One thing that might help is knowing which groups rock which tattoos. Like the guy above, he’s inked with a “14″ tattoo that represents the “14 Words” of white nationalist David Lane, an “88″ that represents an 88 word passage from Hitler’s “Mein Kampf”, and Norse interlocking triangles that represent dying in battle. These different tats add up to this guy being a Neo-Nazi ready to throw down for what he believes. So look out for this guy, and look out for these different tattoos in prison…The above ink represents “Surenos” (accent mark on the “n”) with the “Sur” and the letter “M” for Mexico with the number 13. They’re a Southern California gang with roots in the Mexican Mafia, so don’t mess with them. They might mess with these guys though… The Aryan Brotherhood like to get Shamrock tattoos and love to get “AB”s for “12″s to represent the first and second letters of the alphabet. They also like “666″ tattoos, but really, who doesn’t…Well, guys with “EWMN” tattoos on their knuckles don’t need to get the mark of the beast, because they’re ink stands for “Evil, Wicked, Mean, Nasty”. Speaking of nasty, check out this bad Larry…These two “m”s stand for Mexican Mafia, or La Eme. These guys are one of the most highly organized and powerful groups in the American prison system, and they will mess you up. These guys will also mess you up…Yup, that’s an MS-13 tattoo, and it represents Mara Salvatrucha, one of the most violent and ruthless gangs in the entire Western hemisphere. Members of this gang also often have intricate face ink, so if you see a ton of face tats, look the other way…just don’t look at these guys…The Nazi Lowriders sport these symbols, and these white supremacists are not to be messed with. Neither are the Nortenos (accent on the “n” again folks)…The sombrero on this tattoo shows their allegiance to the Nuestra Familia, the group that controls this powerful gang. This whole article is scaring us at this point, so let’s rap it up with something cute…or this terrifying this that you will often see on a white supremacist, that’s cool too.We hope that if you ever find yourself behind bars, you remember what you saw in this article and stay away from pretty much everyone. Tattoos, whether on a gang member or on a father of three, show dedication to an idea, and if that idea is something violent, inking it on yourself guarantees that you are serious business. Stay out of jail folks, it’s rough in there.
Celebrities love to get ink, that’s a fact, but sometimes they get it in slightly abnormal places, like Zac Efron here. The “Neighbors” star went out and got “YOLO” (You Only Live Once) tattooed on the side of his of his hand, which is a weird place for multiple reasons, not the least of which is how easy it is to wear off ink from that spot. He’s got nothing on Miley Cyrus though…The girl behind “Wrecking Ball” and the master of all that is bad twerking, the former Hannah Montana got “Rolling” and “$tone” inked on her feet. Why is this weird? Because she decided to get them put on the bottom of her hooves instead of the top…so the tattoos had zero chance of ever settling in for the long haul. Want to talk about “settling in for the long haul”? Mike Tyson knows all about that type of commitment, because he got the most committed of all tats…There it is folks, one of the most whacky of all the whacky tattoos in celebrity history. The former boxing world champion and star of “The Hangover” inked a nice looking tribal on his friggin’ eye socket a few years back because we guess he just wanted to show how committed her was to never having a desk job. Strangely enough, he actually wears the placement well. We’ll shut up about his ink choice now though, because we still fear him, and because Lily Allen says so…Lily Allen wants to us to “shhh…”, that’s why she inked it on her index finger. The ellipse at the end of it implies that she’s shushing for a really long time after the initial impact. She must really mean it, unlike K-Stew…“Twilight Saga” star Kristen Stewart got an infinity symbol inked on her wrist to represent her infinite feelings of…uhhhhh…something, but she got it so small that we doubt she really means it. Kesha means it though, just take a look.Okay so Kesha annoys us overall, but we got to respect her commitment and her message, way to show em’ who’s boss dollar sign lady! Speaking of being a boss…That’s a pretty out there tat for the “Amazing Spiderman 2″ star, but he’s Jamie Foxx, he can do whatever he wants. The “Horrible Bosses 2″ star has won an Academy Award and played Django, he can get as many crazy head tattoos as he wants. He’s a true king of Hollywood, so we respect his crown tattoo.Speaking of kings, Cara Delivingne has the King of the Jungle tattooed on her pointer finger, and it’s a really nice piece. Seriously, whoever did that bad boy was on point, because it looks like the lion is going to jump right off of her finger. She’s a weird girl, but she knows how to pick an artist, and she also must know how to pick her nose…in style. We’re finishing this list with Bryan Cranston, because he’s awesome. He had the logo for his all time great show “Breaking Bad” inked inside of his finger, and even though it’s a standard “I don’t want a real tattoo” tattoo, he did it to match his buddies from the show, and he placed it in a weird spot, so we’re cool with it. Is it the weirdest celebrity ink? No. Are any of these? No. But their placement is just a little bit strange to us, and we love making lists, so we hope you enjoyed it. See you next time you tattoo fiends!
Well it looks like Selena Gomez is all grown up… or at least her body of body art would point to that being the case. The “Come And Get It” (everyone in the office agreed that if we had a daughter who sung that song, we’d be really upset) singer recently added to her tattoo collection when she visited famed artist Bang Bang McCurdy’s shop in New York City and had some work done on her back. The new piece is in Arabic and says something to the effect of “Love Yourself First”, which most likely has something to do with her still getting over her storied relationship with pop prince and all around terrible person Justin Bieber. The two were so close, that at one point they were rumored to be getting matching ink, but just like their relationship, the idea went away. The new tat is her fourth, but all together she probably only has a couple of hours of work on her, if not less. Regardless, let’s take a look at her other ink…
Her first tattoo was the tiny little guy that you see above on her wrist. It’s a music note and…well…that’s really all there is to it. It’s a tiny music note and it looks like a tiny music note. It couldn’t have cost her more that a hundred bucks and probably took less than half an hour to do.
The “Behaving Badly” star followed that note up with a bigger piece (also done by Bang Bang) on the back of her neck. She got the Roman Numerals “LXXVI”, which translates into “76″. That’s the year her mother was born and Gomez is rightfully close to her supportive mama.
Her third tat was done in 2013 and is a bible verse going down her hip. It’s Philippians 4:13 reference, a bible quote which states “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”. The actual piece says “God who strengthens me”. It’s a simple piece, but it sits well on her body and should stay nicely if she takes care of herself. Actually, all of her ink is “nice”, just none of it is impressive. She just “has some tattoos”, she’s not “tattooed”. If that makes sense to you, then you’re tattooed. If it doesn’t…well then you might be Selena Gomez, and we wish you the best of luck in your future inkings!
We must finally be getting old, because Ariana Grande is way more famous than we thought that she was. Really folks, did you know that she starred in not only “Victorious” but also “Sam & Cat”? No? Well if you’re a teenage girl, then you should have already been armed with that knowledge; if you’re not, then you know her as that girl who sings that song that you like. Grande is the voice behind “The Way” and “Problem”, those songs that are on the radio basically all of the time. The Nickelodeon channel product is a big deal these days, and like all young big deals these days, she’s got herself a few tattoos.
Her first piece of ink was the tiny heart (like her song “Tattooed Heart”) that she got on her toe back in April of 2012. She was in the process of recording her debut album “Yours Truly” and she got it to commemorate that time in her life. She had it done while she was sitting in the studio and it’s a very typical first tattoo for a young girl: tiny, simple, and not even shaded. It’s very much the kind of tatt that someone gets just to be able to say that they have ink. She followed that up two years later when she had Romeo Lacoste from the show “Best Ink”do some work on the back of her neck. No one really knows what it says for sure, but most people agree that it says “Mille Tendresse.” which is French for “a thousand tendernesses” (it’s from the movie “Breakfast At Tiffany’s”). Again, it’s very simple, but it’s a nice little message and looks cute on her. The same day that she got her neck done she also had a little piece put on her side to honor her grandfather. The simple piece is just the Italian word for “beautiful”, which is of course “Bellissima”.
Ariana Grande doesn’t have a ton of ink as of yet, but to be honest, we don’t see her getting too much more. A lot of times, when someone gets three tattoos in just a couple of years, they end up covered later in life. However, when the pieces are so tiny and simple, and when they’re on a someone who isn’t even mildly alternative, they’re almost never the start of an addiction. We’d be really surprised if we ended up writing too much more about this particular pop princess.
Let’s start things with some truth folks: No matter how tough, or deep, or angry you say you are, you’re not the first person to ever get a tattoo. No folks, despite what some angsty twenty-somethings will tell you, tattoos aren’t some new awesome thing that makes us different from the generations before us. They may be a little more acceptable now than they used to be, but people have been getting them for all sorts of reasons since about as far back as we’ve been able to trace life as a whole. For example: a corpse recovered from all the way back in the neolithic era was found to have preserved skin (it was recovered in a block of ice in 1991, right about the time every television show decided to feature frozen-caveman subplots), and on that skin were a few tattooed marks. The tats were apparently part of an old school acupuncture process, so they were used for healing rather than design, but that doesn’t make them”not tattoos”. The modern art of tattooing goes back to the Tahitian art of “Tatau”, and was brought into the “civilized” world by sailors who visited the island. That work, done with simple needles and hammers, evolved into what we have today with the advent of the double-coil tattoo gun in the late 1800s. It’s already evolved further, as ravers have been getting “invisible” black-light tattoos ( they get them for sho; they aren’t visible in daylight and show up glowing under black-lights) for years now, but where’s it all headed? Well, just like humanity, tattoos are still evolving folks, and just like us, they’re getting more and more tech savvy.
The future of tattoos, like the futures of us all, is one rooted in technological advancement. A few years back, Nokia patented a type of fero-magnetic ink that can be manipulated with magnetic fields. The ink reacts to cell signals and creates an effect where the tattooed feel their phones ringing through their skin. So yeah, that one is kind of useless for now, but other future tats are more helpful. For instance, the LED tattoos that are being developed with someday allow diabetics to get an on-the-body blood sugar reading, while “epidural electronic” technology will involve small electronics being “tattooed” into your skin and doing things like monitoring your heart or letting you know when you’re getting a sunburn. Basically, the important advancements in tattooing will be less tattoos, and more under-the-skin implants. There are other advancements in straight up body-art, but they mostly involve tats that move (like GIF images) and ink that shows up different on cell phone screens. These advancements are currently far too costly to go mainstream, so we expect medical tech tats to become popular long before traditional ink tattoos get replaced with fancy body cartoons.
Like all art and technology, tattoos are ever changing and always growing as a medium, but their beauty lies in their simplicity. In our humble opinions, even when the word “tattoo” starts to mean all sorts of different things in the future, there will still be plenty of people who just want to get regular old needlework done. However, one thing will change: new ink tech means that vegetable-based tats can be removed in as little as one laser session, and with almost no pain. So one thing will change: tats won’t be as permanent as they once were. Well, we guess tats won’t be forever anymore…but we still think that they’ll be around forever.
We’ve all heard the terms “Trainer to the stars” and “Accountant to the stars” and “(insert otherwise mundane profession) to the stars”; all of which prove that sometimes just doing stuff for celebrities can make you a celebrity yourself. This is especially true in the tattoo industry; where as sometimes stars don’t want anyone to know were they train or that they need the help of a financial planner, everyone loves to brag about who did their body art. Whether it’s via Twitter, during interviews, or with the ultra-cool (sarcasm alert) Instagram photo from inside the shop, everyone who you’ve ever heard of loves to show you how cool they are and how great their ink artist of choice is. We guess it’s like any other form of physical art in that you want to give the artist credit and show that you can afford the piece, but it’s still kind of annoying. However, there is a plus to all of this tattoo braggadocio: artists are getting paid these days. Who’s getting paid the best? Let’s find out! We’re going to try and stick to artists who we can get at least ballpark numbers on, so don’t be too upset if we leave out your favorite.
Artists like Mike Rubendall (from TLC’s “Tattoo Wars”), Bob Tyrell, Dave Tedder, Brandon Bond, and Stephanie Tamez all make awesome livings by charging in the $200 per hour range, having minimum session times, and by booking full schedules. However, the big moneymakers list starts with Kat Von D. The tabloid sensation and star of both “Miami Ink” and “LA Ink” has a shop minimum of $200/hr, so we have to figure that her hourly is up around at least the $300 range…which is exactly what Paul Booth charges per hour. Featured on CNN, CNBC, Discovery Channel, and TLC; Booth has worked on members of metal bands like Sepultura, Pantera, and Slipknot, giving them a taste of his dark and demon laden style. Famous clients are clearly the key to big bucks too, just ask New York based artist Bang Bang, who gets over $400/hr to ink stars like Rihanna and Justin Beiber. His work is good, but rumor has it that he’s not really worth the trip to the Bahamas that it costs you to have a medium sized piece done. In reality, is anyone worth that much cash? Don’t ask Anil Gupta, we already know his answer.
Charging a whopping $450/hr, Gupta has done work on celebrities like John McEnroe, Christian Slater, and Rosie O’Donnell. He’s know for his abstract work as well as his ability to perfectly copy works of art onto his clients’ bodies. He’s booked up six months in advance too, so you know that business is good. Not as good as Ami James though, as the “Miami Ink” and “NY Ink” star charges over $500 for just sixty minutes in the chair. His ownership of three shops (his third is Love Hate Social Club in London) and his clothing company DeVille has given him a personal net worth of over $5 million, so yeah…he’s doing well for himself. However, he’s cheap compared to Scott Campbell.
Tattooing only on weekend because his lucrative career in advertising design takes up his weekdays, Campbell has charged the likes of Marc Jacobs, Josh Hartnett, and Heath Ledger a thousand bucks for their first hour of work. Granted, he drops his price to “only” $200 for each additional hour, but that still gives him a pretty insane hourly rate, and most likely means that he’s living large when he’s not in the shop or in the office.
Once looked at as the dregs of society, tattoo artists are finally getting the recognition as true artists that they deserve, and with prices as high as these guys, they’re getting the cash they deserve. Of course, they won’t be getting that cash from us, we prefer to be inked in Thailand, where fifteen hours of work from a guy who has a masters degree in art and design will run you about $500. Yeah, America is overpriced…but we still love this place.
You can learn a lot from someone’s tattoos. You can look at someone’s ink and have some idea of where they’ve been, what they love, what they’ve done, and what they believe; you can basically tell a whole lot about their past and present. Sometimes though, you can even tell their future by looking at their ink, such is the case with Beyonce Knowles and her vanishing tattoo. So what does the future hold for the “Drunk In Love” singer and multiple Grammy winner (she’s won like…all of the Grammys)? Well if her tattoos are to be believed, either a divorce or a new career as a hand model.
A few years back, the former Destiny’s Child front-woman married rap megastar Jay-Z (real name Shawn Carter), thus forming one of the celebrity world’s most famous and successful couples ever. To celebrate the nuptials, Bey went out and got herself a little tattoo on her finger of the Roman numeral “IV”. The very small piece of ink sat right on her ring finger and represented exactly what you would think: the number four. Both Jay-Z’s birthday and their anniversary fall on the 4th of the month, so the tiny tat was basically a big (little) “I love you” to her husband. A great gesture right? Well…it was a great gesture. “Was”, as in past-tense, as in “the tattoo isn’t their anymore”. Yes folks, if recent pictures of the power couple are to be believed, then the ring finger piece appears to have been lasered off at some point in the past year. So like I said before, she’s either decided that she doesn’t have enough money already and is embarking on a career as a hand model…or she’s not planning on being married to Jay anymore. After her sister Solange was recorded attacking her husband on an elevator, speculation ran rampant that the all-time great rapper had done something pretty bad to his bride, and perhaps whatever that was has lead to the dissolution of their marriage. Their “On The Run” tour is still going on as of this writing, and they’ve been photographed together seemingly still together. However, they might be pulling a Sonny and Cher, staying together for show just to make a little more money before they call it quits. We can’t really say, but we can pretty much guarantee that Beyonce has had her tattoo removed, and people tend to do things like that for a reason.
Most people grow up assuming that the day they turn eighteen they’re on their own. Not financially of course, because people are friggin’ moochers and tend to try and milk their parents for every cent they can get, but eighteen is when most kids decide that they can make their own decision and feel that “No one can tell me what to do! I’m an adult!”. Well here’s the harsh truth fair readers: when you turn eighteen, you still can’t make most of your own decisions because you’re an idiot who can’t support him/herself, so your parents usually get a say in your life under the “He who writes the checks, makes the decisions.” rule. Here’s the harsher truth: even when you’re in your twenties and even if you’re a multimillionaire, you can’t make some of your own decisions because you just care too damn much what your parents think of you. Such is the case with “Harry Potter” (Insert whichever of the titles you’d like) star Daniel Radcliffe, a man who has expanded his career from playing little kid wizards to starring in huge stage productions where he shows his bing-bong…but still won’t get a tattoo for fear of what his parents think. He admitted in an interview that he wanted to get a quote from “Waitiing for Gadot” author Samuel Beckett, “Try, fail, try again and fail better”, but he was immediately worried that his mom and dad would hear about it, because in the same interview he mentioned that he ”shouldn’t really talk about tattoos in case my mom and dad hear about it.”. So basically, a man who is willing to take out his crotch parts for a stage role in the name of art, isn’t willing to get body art out of fear of his parents getting upset with him. That;s weird and awesome all at the same time folks. So Harry Potter will keep outgrowing being a wizard, but he’s never going to outgrow respecting his parents.
There’s not many people in the music industry who seem to give less of a poop about how people think they look than rapper Rick Ross. In fact, there’s probably very few celebrities overall who show such a blatant disregard for how people would perceive them based on looks. We’re not saying that he’s not a good looking guy, we’re just saying…well…he’s pretty tubby, yet never wears a shirt, his wardrobe when he is actually forced to wear something is mostly over sized t-shirts, and he’s got multiple instances of the ultimate in tattoo “ef-yous”: the face piece. His newest piece of ink is on his chin of all places, and while we don’t dislike it (if you’re going to have a face tattoo, you might as well have, multiple face tattoos), we’re not sure that it isn’t a huge jinx. The tat in question is also the name of his new song, as it’s a piece that says “Rich Forever”. We feel like he’s just asking to go bankrupt with something like that, but at the same time, maybe he’s going to use it to motivate himself to in fact stay rich forever…or at least until he dies, you can’t take it with you folks…but maybe he’ll have enough money to buy immortality when they finally crack the code on those undying jellyfish and there legit Highlanders walking around everywhere; then the joke will be on us.The new chin work only adds to the hundreds of tattoos he already has; Rick’s got over fifty different dollar signs on his body, “Against All Odds”, “Millionaire”, the names of different cars that he owns, a bunch of skulls, “5 Star G”, “Teflon Don” (his nickname, which means that even if you are in fact rubber, he isn’t glue), his parents birthdays, a “W” (for “win”), a Darth Vader piece, a Basquiat piece, the outline of the state of Florida, and some crosses. That’s just some of the work he has, as he’s started to run out of space on his upper body and has begun to have leg work done. He still remembers his first tat though, a dollar sign, but doesn’t know exactly where it is; he describes it as “in the mist.”, somewhere on his upper body. Rick won’t be stopping anytime soon, so expect to here from us about The Boss again in the near future.
She wasn’t even wearing gloves folks…that’s how people get infections. We’re not sure how we feel about any of this, so we’re just going to tell you how we feel about each individual factor and give you some facts…and then probably get really angry and rant for a while. Ready? Go! Okay, so Kylie Jenner, of “My dad Bruce was a great athlete and my mom is a terrible person who put our family on reality television…and now I’m a model because I’m pretty enough that my famous name makes me marketable” fame and Miles Richie of “my dad is Lionel Richie and I like punk rock but have no actual marketable talent” fame are buddies. That’s all well and good, they hang out with other untalented children of famous people like Jaden and Willow Smith and they all stay away from the rest of us as a result, so good for them. However, as part of their whole “we’re so edgy because we take black and white Instagram photos and we’re angsty because…uhhhh…next question…” teenager phase, they’ve started getting tattoos and making the rest of feel bad about the fact that now people can look at us and go “Oh, you have tattoos, like that Lionel Richie’s son!”. So we’re upset that they’ve started entering our culture, but what are we going to do? At least they’re helping to make ink more acceptable. However, now some irresponsible tattoo artist in California, who may end up losing his license because of it, has allowed Kylie to tattoo her initials on Miles…and allowed them to video the whole thing. So now Miles Richie has Kylie Jenner’s “KJ” inked on his hand/wrist, and some dude is probably going to have to go to court and defend his ability to make a living because he let an underage kid without a license or gloves operate in his shop. We’re very annoyed by the entire thing…and that’s about all we have to say about that. Actually, we have more to say: Stop letting celebrities do whatever they want! They’re never going to become legitimate members of society if you keep letting them break the law simply because you want to be in their next selfie! Okay, now we’re done.