J.R. Martinez definitely gets the award for the most meaningful tattoo that we’ve seen in quite some time. The Dancing With The Stars winner, All My Children star (he plays ‘Brot Monroe’), and plastic surgery miracle, is known for his overcoming the odds to survive and lead a great life after being nearly burned to death in a truck explosion during his time serving in the Iraq War. In memory of one of the few parts of his body to not be burned, and to remind him of the time his life changed forever, Martinez got the watch he was wearing at the time of the explosion tattooed on the spot on his wrist where it originally rested. Martinez is a walking inspiration, showing the triumph of the human spirit with every step he takes, and teaching us all that no matter what, life can go on. His tattoo provides a similar reminder to him, and to anyone else lucky enough to meet him.
As the lead singer of ulra-popular pop/rock quintet Maroon 5, Adam Levine has won multiple Grammy Awards; hit the top of the charts with songs like “This Love”, “Harder To Breathe”, and “Wake Up Call”; and secured himself a gig as a vocal coach on the hit reality show The Voice. Adam Levine is a full fledged rock star, and part of being a rock star is getting tattoos, and Levine has done that plenty. Amongst his tattoos are a tribute to his mom on his left forearm, triple “2”s on is forearm to represent the first studio Maroon 5 recorded in, a paw print, a shark representing his nickname, “Los Angeles” on his right shoulder to represent his hometown, a guitar on his forearm, a large tiger on his forearm, the roman numeral “X” to celebrate his bands ten year anniversary, a dove and cherry blossoms in rememberance on 9/11, a a bird on his sternum (perhaps to commemorate when he broke it), and some other various designs throughout his body.
Howard Stern has been active on the radio waves for over 35 years, and he has spent the better part of those 35 years as the top dog in the medium. He’s also branched out into film production, television production, acting, internet media, and the literary world, but he’s always gone back to the radio (although at this point, he’s on satellite radio, a medium that he basically carries with his ratings) and the rebel persona he’s cultivated for himself. Part of any rebel persona is always going to be tattoos, so it surprises us to find that he doesn’t have that much ink on his body. Howard Stern has gotten four tattoos overall, but only has three pieces on his body currently. On his right shoulder, he has a really nicely done dragon, which he got in order to cover up a previous tattoo of his astrological symbol. He also has a letter ‘B’ on his finger to pay tribute to his second wife, Beth Ostrosky, and some sort of symbol on his pinky. At almost 60, it’s hard to say if Stern will get any more tattoos done, but seeing as how he’s consistently trying to stay youthful, it’s not out of the realm of possibilities.
Chris “Birdman” Anderson of the National BasketBall Association’s (NBA) Denver Nuggets is easily one of our favorite players, for many reasons. There’s his hard-nosed style of play, his “good but not great, and therefore attainable” level of skill, his crazy on the court antics, and most of, there’s the fact that he’s covered in tattoos. His newest, and most blatant, piece of ink is the “Free Bird” piece that wraps around his neck; it’s both well done, and painful, which makes it a ‘win’ in our book. He also has his bird wings, one on each bicep; a zombie version of himself, on his arm; a skull wearing a crown on his arm; two large Chinese characters, one on each forearm; a pit bull on his chest; “Honky Tonk” on his stomach; and a guy dunking a ball on his right arm. Birdman is definitely on the NBA’s “most tattooed” list, and considering how many guys in the league have ink, that’s a pretty impressive accomplishment.
Kelly Ripa doesn’t seem like she’d have any tattoos; we can’t really put our fingers on it, but something about her wholesome, always smiling image,,just doesn’t scream “I have ink!”. Regardless though, the co-host of Live With Regis and Kelly, Live With Kelly and All My Children has two tattoos, and she doesn’t make any effort to hide either one. The first tattoo she got is on her ankle, and is a tribal design surrounding a flower. Her newest tattoo is on her wrist, and it says “Consuelos”; it’s in honor of her husband and former All My Children co-star, Mark Consuelos. With Regis’ recent retirement, we know that Kelly is looking for a new co-host, and we really hope that she takes the search as an opportunity to get in touch with her inked side and chooses someone with serious body art; we suggest she go with Henry Rollins. Think about it, they could talk tattoos, she could talk about carpet samples, and he could punch audience members in the gut while yelling about the budget crisis, it’d be the return of “must see TV”.
Carson Daly has been around for a long time. He started off as the host of MTV’s Total Request Live, then moved on to hosting Last Call With Carson Daly, and most recently has been pulling doulbe duty by hosting both Last Call and The Voice. Point is, we all know who Carson Daly is; what most of us don’t know, is that he has quite a few meaningful tattoos on his body. On his right forearm, he has a crucifix surrounded by the dual-flag Corvette emblem and his father’s initials (“JD”). He also has “NYC” on his inner right writst (an ode to the 9/11 tragedy), an unknown design on his lower right leg, and the United States Army Special Forces motto and logo “De oppresso liber” on his left arm (his grandfather was a member of the Special Forces and Daly is a vocal supporter of the United States’ Troops). Having recently had his first child, look for Daly to get more ink in celebration of the new addtion to his family.
We’re really not sure if we’re surprised that Shaun White only has one tattoo. On one hand, he’s an “extreme athlete”, and it’s usually just assumed that those guys are covered in ink. One the other hand, he’s really, really, pale and has a good sense of style, so maybe he figured that getting a lot of color on that skin would look funky. Whatever he was thinking, it’s led him to having a lone tattoo on his left forearm. The two-time Olympic Gold Medalist, X-Games god, and owner of millions of dollars in endorsement contracts has a symbol inked on him that he got off of a Native America ring he had once purchased. The symbol represents a storm and ended up on his body forever, instead of on a guitar amplifier as he had planned, when a friend of his basically put him in a “put up, or shut up” situation in regards to getting some ink done. Shaun White put up, and not he’s got a tat.
You ever wonder what one of the world’s most beautiful women would look like covered in tattoos? Well thanks to our advanced “internet search” technology (don’t worry, someday we will all have it), we now know that Halle Berry looks amazing covered in ink, and that if she decided to go for a full body suit of body art, she’d still be just as gorgeous as ever. The Monster’s Ball, Frankie and Alice, Dark Tide, New Years Eve, and Cloud Atlas star doesn’t have any work done in real life (at least tattoo wise, she appears to have had some plastic surgery in her past), but we now that if she makes a random change of style in her mid-fourties, she’s still going to be way too classy for any of us to ever have a shot with. Although, we can dream that if she just got covered ink head to toe out of nowhere, she’d also be changing her taste in men, so maybe we could at least get a smile out of her, and if we’re lucky, she’d drop that stupid restraining order…jeez, you hide in one tree…
The National Football League’s (NFL) Rex Ryan is a lot of things; a solid coach, a great motivator, an outspoken defender of his players, and a rather large man with a booming voice; but if there’s one thing he’s not, it’s subtle. So when reporters asked him what his big calf tattoo meant, the New York Jets’ Head Coach responded, “A new ‘tat’ means believe in yourself, which I’ve got no problem doing”, and when asked what exactly it was, he said, “It’s a mountain, some waves and some sharks”. To us, it just looks kind of like a random Hawaiian design (he got it while on vacation in the islands), like something he just got because he already has tattoos (we have no clue what or…*shutter*…where on his body they are), he was there, and he likes attention; like the grown man equivalent of a teenage girl from Wyoming getting cornrows while in Jamaica. Anyhow, he says that his players like it, and that he and his wife like it, so whatever, more power to him…at least it’s not a skull, that wouldn’t look right on him.
Okay, that does it. As if Chairman Of The Board wasn’t enough; as if being completely ‘roided to the gills for no reason wasn’t enough; as if if having a bunch of plastic surgery and looking like an off-duty drag queen wasn’t enough; Scott “Carrot Top” Thompson has finally made us anti-him. Not that we were fans before, but at least we were indifferent. But really? A tiny carrot? That’s ridiculous. Even if he got it before he discovered the gym and some needles, he could have had it redone to fit his giant body a little better. He also could’ve gotten a more interesting carrot (we’re sure that’s a thing); like a guy with a carrot for head, or a carrot with his hair instead of it’s actual top, anything but a real carrot. Look, the guy sells out shows in Vegas all the time, and he’s been gainfully employed as a comedian for over twenty years, so it’s not like he isn’t funny at all; he really could’ve come up with a better tattoo.