Okay, we’ve got to be honest, we have pretty much no idea what Mena Suvari’s tattoos mean, but we do know what and where they are. The American Reunion star has been out of the spotlight for the last few years, but she’s kept busy as a fashion designer and blogger, and by getting some pretty prominent ink. She has what appears to be “13″ or a “B” on her chest, the words “WORD SOUND POWER” on her back, a lion on her neck, and she recently got some sort of script writing above the lion. Suvari seems to have been bitten by the tattoo bug, and they’re slowly becoming part of her public image, so look for her to keep getting inked for years to come.
As if we didn’t have to worry about our girlfriends staring at his stomach enough, Olympic champion Michael Phelps has two tattoos on his man-kini line (life long goal of working “man-kini” into an article: check). The 14 time Olympic Gold Medalist has the Olympic rings on the right hip, and an “M” for Maryland. Many people often confuse the “M” for that of the University of Michigan, but seeing as how Phelps was born, raised, and still lives in Baltimore County, Maryland, we think it’s a safer bet to assume that the “M” represents the Old Line State (they should really change it to something crabcake related). Seeing as how his image is already tarnished by his bong incident from a few years ago, we don’t think Phelps will be getting any more ink until after the 2012 Olympics. When he does, we’re going to guess that he goes with something on his forearm.
Christopher Meloni is on True Blood now; some of you just cheered and some of you just shuddered, but all of you at least smiled at the Christopher Meloni part. Everybody likes Christopher Meloni, whether they’ve seen him on Oz or Law &Order: SVU; he just seems like a guy you’d know from the local bar. He’s a family man, but looks like he’s hit you with a pool cue if the situation called for it. His tattoos match that image perfectly; he’s got a cubist rendition of Jesus on his left shoulder, a butterfly on his thigh, and his family’s astrological chart of his lower left leg. Again, tattoos that you wouldn’t be surprised to find on “Chris from down the street”, the guy that everybody like, but no one messes with. Hopefully, now that he’s a vampire, he’ll still retain that street cred.
Zack Efron just keeps getting further and further away from his High School Musical persona; part of that departure has been his getting of not one, not two, but now three tattoos! He’s a real tattooed person now! Good for him, although as of right now, we have almost no idea what he got done earlier this month in Los Angeles. Rumor has it that the ink, which is directly connected to his other inner-biceps tattoo, is related to his new relationship, but no one really knows yet. All we know is that he now has three very visible tattoos, and that makes the Lucky One and Lorax star a whole lot cooler in our book. At this point, if he goes out and gets himself a big ole’ forearm piece, we’re going to have to start actually supporting him…wow, we really hope that he doesn’t do that, because he may be getting a little better, but his movies still look like something our girlfriends’ teddy bears would throw up if they ate too many rainbows.
It’s hard not to find Miley Cyrus entertaining at this point. She says dumb things in public, dresses somewhat inappropriately in public, does lewd things because she thinks they’re funny, and gets tattoos that look a bit prison-y; yet she seems like a really nice kid, so it’s like watching your well intentioned hillbilly cousin win the lotto and act-a-fool. Her newest move was getting a sweet inner-biceps tattoo at Studio City Tattoo over the weekend. With her crew in tow and clad in her finest Van Halen t-shirt, Miley rolled up her sleeve and got “Love Never Dies” inked on her left arm. We don’t know the exact meaning of the new body-art; it could be a tribute to a fallen family/friend, or it could be a message about romance, but we can’t help but think it would be way more entertaining if it said “NASCAR never dies” with a little “#3″ next to it.
Zoe Saldana has been one of the most gorgeous young actresses in Hollywood for quite some time already, and with roles in Star Trek, Avatar, and their sequels, she’s also in the process of becoming an A-list talent. Unfortunately though, her tattoos are a bit D-list. The pieces of ink that she has on her foot, ribs, and lower abdomen are all messages written in Arabic, which would be perfeclty fine…if they made any sense. Our professional Arabic translator (or as you’d call him: the rest of the internet) pointed out that none of the tattoos seem to be clear translations. Instead, they’re riddled with misspellings, even the one that people can understand (her foot tattoo reportedly says “I want to ask her”) isn’t perfect. Saldana doesn’t seem like the type to screw something like this up, so we’ve got to think that there’s a reason behind this, or at worst that she’s been swindled by an uneducated artist. Regardless, she still wears them well, but considering the fact that she’d look good in a potato sack cover in ABBA bumper stickers, that doesn’t say much for the tattoos.
Here we have the makings of an urban legend folks. The above picture is supposedly of a girl from Ohio named Rossie Brovent who made the life-altering mistake of getting a tattoo done by the man she was cheating on. The original story that was reported states that Brovent asked her then boyfriend, Ryan Fitzjerald, to ink a scene from the Chronicles of Narnia on her back, but didn’t realize that he was aware that she was being unfaithful to him with his best friend. Fitzjerald got his revenge by tattooing this breathtaking poo landscape on her instead. There’s rumors going around that the whole thing is fake, but we refuse to believe that. We want to believe that we live in a world where someone is both wierd enough to want to get the lion, the witch,and/or the wardrobe tattooed on her back, and where someone can seek revenge vie doodie-tat. You can prove it’s fake all you want internet, but much like Santa, pro wrestling, the moon landing, and our secret girlfriend that we met in a chatroom; we’re going to keep believing that it’s real.
You know, for someone whose claim to fame revolves around her work on The Disney Channel, Demi Lovato has a lot of tattoos at a very young age. The Sonny With A Chance star, and mildly successful singer has had some major personal issues in her short time on this earth (she’s only 19), and she’s got the ink to back them up. Lovato has “Faith” on her arm ; “Peace” on her finger; a cross on her hand ; “You make me beautiful” and feathers on her side ; “Stay Strong” with a heart on her wrists ; a feather behind her ear; and lips on her wrist. Most of her ink is there to serve as inspiration in her ongoing struggles with her inner demons,, so despite her body-art’s generic appearance, we love all of her tattoos for what they mean to her. Nothing on her is impressive, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t; we hope her ink continues to inspire her for years to come.
The Golden State Warriors’ Monta Ellis has spent the last couple of years near the top of NBA’s scoring lists; he’s also spent them near the top of the ”Most Tattooed” list. Ellis, who says he lost count around 18, has an upper body that’s absolutely covered in ink, says that a big part of his being covered comes from his boredom in the off-season. The other reason he has so many tattoos is that he he likes to represent his love for his family with them, and he really loves his family. His tattoos include a giant family tree; tributes to his mother, daughter, son, grandpa, and grandma (his grandparents raised him); and s number of “randoms” as we like to call them. All of his work is top-notch, and most, if not all of it was done at Tattoos By Randy in Atlanta, by Randy himself. Great work Monta!
So Helen Mirren is a knight right? Or a Queen? No no, she won an Academy Award for The Queen; so then they made her a Dame? Isn’t “dame” a derogitory term? Wow, British culture really confuses us; we’re not however, confused about how great Helen Mirren is. We’re not even going to mention that she’s won an Academy Award for Best Actress, four SAG Awards, four BAFTAs, three Golden Globes, four Emmy Awards, and two Cannes Film Festival Best Actress Awards; we’re just going to point out what she recently said about the little tattoo on her hand. She said she got it when she was “very, very drunk” a long time ago, “when only sailors and Hell’s Angels were tattooed.”; and remarked that now she’s “utterly disgusted and shocked because it’s completely mainstream, which is unacceptable”. She has us at “only sailors and Hell’s Angels”. Helen Mirren: proof that you can keep your edge no matter how successful, esteemed, or old you get.