Danica Patrick tends to be a very debated figure in the world of motorsports. She gets credit for being the first woman to ever win an open-wheel race in the elite IndyCar Series, but she also gets over-exposed as a star because of this same fact; often getting press over many of her far more successful male counterparts. There is no doubt that Danica is talented, but she’s not nearly as talented as her fame would suggest; she is however, tattooed, and that’s all we really care about. Danica only has one tattoo that we’re aware of, and it’s in the “tramp stamp” area. The current NASCAR racer has a half American/half checkered flag design with wings on it and stars surrounding it on her mid/lower back. It’s not a terrible tattoo, but it’s also not a very good one; it looks more like something a teenage fan would get that something Danica herself should’ve spent money on.
Eleven years is a long time to wait to finish a tattoo, but we guess this guy really likes dead baseball players. The ”guy” in question is Mike McWain of Pasco, Washinton (US); he spent eleven years, 180 hours in the chair, and $10 thousand to get a mural on his back and arms that he refers to as his own “Field of Dreams”. The ink features the likenesses of “Shoeless” Joe Jackson, Honus Wagner, Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio, Ted Williams, Lou Gehrig, Walter Johnson and Ty Cobb; set over images that connect the game with the hands of a higher power; the tattoo also features historic Yankee Stadium, Ty Cobb sliding cleats up, and his children (he wants them to be surrounded by the game). Looking at it, it really is a lot like the movie Field Of Dreams, except with less Kevin Costner and more semi-creepy depictions of baseball heaven. According to McWain, the piece took so long to finish because of the switch in priorities that came with the birth of his kids who, now around eleven years old, are apparently no longer that important.
As the septum piercing in the photo above and the plentiful rumors about her sexual exploits clearly show, Scarlett Johansson has a bit of a wild side; so of course she’s got some tattoos. The Avengers and We Bought A Zoo star has three tattoos that we know of (we can’t vouch for anything she might have hidden), none of which are particularly large or intricate, but all of which have meaning to her. To show her love for New York, ScarJo has inked that exact message on her wrist; she has a bracelet tattoo that features a charm that reads ” I (Heart) NY”. Her other tattoos are a sun over the sea on her forearm, and two interlinked circles with an “A” in the middle on her ankle; she refuses to answer as to the meaning behind either one, but assures people that they both hold a special meaning to her. Look for ScarJo to get some more ink in the future; we’re not sure why, but she just seems like she’s got more skin-work in her.
It’s hard for us to take Tony Parker seriously, because as we’ve said before, he looks exactly like a giant baby that did a lot of push-ups. Seriously, look at his eye-size-to-face ratio, no matter how many NBA titles he wins, we want to pinch his cheeks and put him a French-flag pattern onesie every time we see him. Not helping him look cool (seriously folks, you know how baby-like you have to be to marry Eva Longoria and dominate in a professional sports and still not look cool?) are his tattoos, which both need to be removed ASAP. For starters, we’re pretty sure he still has the wedding ring ink he got on his finger with his ex-wife Eva; obviously that needs to go. Secondly, he and Longoria also got “Nine” inked on them (on her neck and his hand) during their married years because that’s his jersey number, and while she got hers removed, he still has his. We understand that it’s his number and that if she doesn’t have it anymore, it can technically stay, but it’s a garbage tattoo that needs to be expanded, redone, or removed. Not sure what else we can say folks, but something needs to be done about Tony Parker’s ink.
Considered by many to be the greatest base-player in the history of hard-rock music, Flea from The Red Hot Chili Peppers is also a heavily tattooed dude. The rocker with one name has a ton of ink, including: an Aztec mask that covers his entire back, a Celtic Triskele on his chest (it symbolizes perfection and the threefold nature of most Celtic gods), “Loesha” on his chest (his ex-wife’s name), a portrait of Jimi Hendrix on his left shoulder, “Clara” on his left arm (his daughter’s name), elephants making a chain around his left arm, some sort of traditional tribal marking on his left forearm, a snake on his right shoulder, a two-headed snake on his right arm, two dolphins making a circle on his right arm, a Native American bird symbol on his right arm, “LOVE” on his knuckles (both hands, that’s a lot of lovin), “FLEA” on his head, and a little girl drawn by his youngest daughter on his right forearm. The guy has a ton of ink and wears it well, and we’re sure he has even more that we don’t know about.
Over the last decade, The Big Show (Paul White) has quietly put together one of the more decorated careers in the history of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE). Yeah, we know that wrestling is fake, but you still have to be pretty darn popular for the WWE to put that many title belts around your waste. During a career that’s included the World, Intercontinental, and Tag Team Championships; Show has gotten more and more tattoos on his large body. From what we can see of his ink, he has a tiger on his right shoulder, some sort of dragon design on his left shoulder, a TKE (the letters of his college fraternity probably) on his leg, and a large unknown design on his calf. Having recently turned 40, and having a ton of money in the bank, Big Show will most likely retire soon, but look for him to end up with a few more tattoos before it’s all said and done. He probably won’t get anything crazy, but he will almost definitely get some more ink.
Don’t adjust your computer screens and smart phones folks, that is in fact 57 year old star of stage an screen Kelsey Grammar in the photo above. Yup, at almost 60 the Fraser, Cheers, and, Boss star jumped into the tattoo chair for the first time to ink the name of his new wife Kayte (there is no way that’s how it was meant to be spelled, unless her birth certificate says” Kaytherine”; in which case her parents should be slapped) on his hip. Look, we respect the hell out of Kelsey Grammar, even despite his drunk driving and infidelities, but we’ve got some issues with this ink. First off, she’s his fourth wife, so clearly marriage isn’t always a permanent idea to him, so maybe a tattoo isn’t the best thing to show his love. Secondly, what grown man gets a single tattoo that low on his waste line? He’s an award winning actor, not an 18 year old girl on spring break. Well either way, we’re sure he can afford the removal fees if this turns out to be a bad idea.
Looks like Hermomo (is that her name? We don’t read Harry Potter) is all grown up…or at least she’s playing roles that require her to look all grown up. Recently seen on the set of her new movie Bling Ring ( it chronicles the idiotic misadventures of the group that ran around Hollywood robbing the homes of tabloid fodder/stars like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton), Watson’s got some new fake ink on her lower back. Her faux tramp stamp is some kind of feminine tribal with a Japanese symbol in the middle, it’s the kind of tattoo that a moron that would rob other morons would get, so we’re glad that it fake. We imagine that if she was to actually go out and get a tattoo, it wouldn’t be Harry Potter related, as the young star has tried to distance herself from that franchise recently. So Emma Watson’s bad ink is fake, but if she makes the mistake of getting something bad in the future, we’ll be here to tell you all about it.
Of all the gossip you hear about The Real Housewives of Orange County, you never really get to hear much about their tattoos. Tamra Barney however is a different case, as the reality star has very publicly (on television in fact) had struggles with her ink and its subsequent removal. Barney had two tattoos, both of which were connected to her ex-husband Simon. On her lower back, she had a yin-yang symbol surrounded by flames to match Simon’s; its removal went very well (although the picture below looks pretty painful) and you can barely tell that it was ever there. She also had his name inked on her ring finger; that removal didn’t go as well and you can still see a shadow on her finger where it used to be. She’s looked into having the shadow covered up, but as of this writing it is still uncovered and looks kind of crappy. Also, her last name is “Barney”, and it’s really hard not to assume that she’s the daughter of the purple dinosaur and a tanning bed; like a really good looking one though.
Here’s a tattoo we have zero problem with: Ewan McGregor’s heart and dagger half-sleeve tribute to his wife and daughters. McGregor; star of Black Hawk Down, Trainspotting, Beginners, Jack The Giant Killer, and The Impossible (we don’t talk about his role as Obi-Wan, those movies don’t count ’round here); is one of the most talented actors of his generation as well as a big family man. The tattoo originally only included a dagger piercing a heart and the the names of his wife (Eve) and first two daughters (Esther and Clara), but he had his third daughter’s name (Jamiyan) and some clouds added later on. Ewan recently had a fourth daughter, so look for his ink to expand in the near future; otherwise he’s going to have a really ticked off kid someday. McGregor seems like a really cool and down-to-earth guy; his ink does a good job of supporting this image.