Category Archives: Actor/Actress

ScarJo Puts The “Art” in “Body Art”

Scarlett Johansson is an interesting young lady; she’s always walked the line between glamorous and trashy, sometimes successfully mixing the two, much to the confusion of us all. Within the same time frame, she walked the red carpet to raves about her classic Hollywood good looks, and openly admitted to having sex with Benicio Del Toro in an elevator. She also spent three years married to Ryan Reynolds, which whether you’re a woman or a man; gay, straight, or other; you have to admit seems like a good idea. The more we think about, she’s actually really awesome…except for her taste in tattoos; she seems to be lacking in that department. During a recent trip to Paris, the Avengers star got some new ink, and it’s…ummmm…it’s pretty darn horrible actually.

As you can see, the multi-millionaire got a horseshoe with an ultra classy “Lucky You” banner around it on her ribcage. We’re going to assume that she’s inferring that whoever sees her naked has gotten lucky, which is true in a real life in the flesh sense, but not so true in the grander scheme of things (in case you forgot, some nakey pictures of her spread through the web like wildfire a few months back). Either way, it’s a horrible piece of body “art”.

For starters, it looks like a third grade Indianapolis Colts fans art project, and not like a professionally done piece of work. Secondly, it’s really trashy, and not in a trendy way; in a “stripper who hangs out at airport hotels on Sunday nights” sort of way. Thirdly, it’s placement doesn’t even make the most sense, as whoever takes her clothes off would have to crane his neck sideways to see it properly. Finally, it’s so bad that we almost made the headline: “Body Art? More like body fart!”. Okay, so that last one happens every time we do any article about a bad tattoo, but still, it’s not a good sign.

Our final assesment of Scarlett Johansson’s new ink is that she must’ve done it ironically. Not to say that she doesn’t think that someone would be lucky to see her lady parts, but we think that she said: “I want to get a really trashy tattoo because I think it’s funny how rich and famous I am”. So basically this is her entry into the world of people with annoying hipster tattoos that hold zero meaning, zero sentiment or fond memory, and aren’t even funny. Hey, at least she didn’t get a Pringle’s Guy (or the “Natty Boh Guy Hon!” if you’re from Baltimore) mustache done on her finger; that makes us want to start fires.

Penn Badgley’s New Boring Tattoo

We don’t like it. Before you even ask, let it be known that unless it has some hugely important significance to the owner, we never like tattoos like this. We’re talking about Penn Badgely’s feather tattoo that he has on his calf. Something about the tattoo is just too lazy for our tastes. It’s not ornate, it’s not different, it doesn’t stand out at all; it just looks like something that he picked off the shop wall. Badgely is a bit of a huge hipster in real life, so we assumed that he’s have something different, or at least well done, but instead he has that…thing.  Call up Gossip Girl because rumored has it that Penn didn’t think his tattoo all the way through.

 

Miley Cyrus Has a New Tattoo

At this point, it should come as no surprise to any of you that Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus has a new tattoo; afterall, she has a few already. What is kind of surprising though, is how meaningful her new ink is. The recently engaged pop star’s newest tattoo is on her left forearm, and features a quote from popular United States President Theodore Roosevelt (he’s the one with the mustache, not the one with polio), and it’s a good one. The quote reads “So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.” If we remember our history, the full passage that the tat was taken from is about putting oneself out there and trying to succeed. We’d love to give her guff about the new piece, but we’re Amurikans! How could we not support a young lady getting the words of one of our most awesome of presidents etched on her skin? Good job Miley!

More Ink for JWOWW

Alright folks, so this isn’t the first time we’ve told you about a member of the Jersey Shore cast getting inked, but it’s the first time we’ve told you about JWoww getting tattoos…since the last time we told you about JWoww getting tattoos. Either way, adding to the collection of ink that we’ve already told you about, the Jersey girl has two new big pieces on her body. First she got the one on her right shoulder while she was in Italy; it’s a tribute to her grandma. It’s a nice tribute piece that features praying hands and a cross, as well as the words “RIP” and “OMA” (that’s what she called her grandma). After that came her most recent work, a huge tiger on her right hip that’s meant to act as the second half of a yin-yang/good-evil symbol; the first half being the big dragon she has on her ribs. This piece is also well done, and sits well on her body. JWoww is pretty heavily inked at this point, but all of her work is well placed and all of it looks great on her. We don’t see her getting too much more done, as she’s running out of prime real estate and doesn’t seem like she wants to move onto her arms.

Ashton Kutcher Still Has Fans, And They’re Crazy

Uhhhhh…that’s creepy…and somewhat illiterate. It looks like despite his recent marital troubles (having sex with everyone you can except your wife counts as “marital troubles” right?), Two And A Half Men star Ashton Kutcher still has some die-hard fans out there. The photo above if of the back of a Brazilian woman who claims to be his #1 fan, and to prove it, she’s inked “Ashton Kutcher i love you, love is forever fan love you” [sic] on herself…of course she did. We’ve yet to figure out whether the message is a typo, a translation issue, or if she’s half yoda; but regardless, the tattoo looks ridiculous and fairly insane. You know what’s even crazier? While researching  this article, we found a pic of another die-hard Kutcher fan who put his face on their arm! Who does that? How does the annoying guy from the camera ads impact you enough to warrant a body-art tribute? What happened? The tattoo shop didn’t have the right ink to do a proper Hamburglar tat?

Zachary Quinto’s Tiny Tattoo

For a guy who made his living for years playing an ultra creepy character that ate people’s brains (Skylar on television’s Heroes), Zachary Quinto sure seems like an ultra-nice dude in real life. The star of Star Trek and Margin Call is known for his friendly demeanor, good sense of humor, and vocal support of gay and lesbian rights (Quinto himself recently came out as an openly gay man). All these factors make it a shame that we can’t write more about his tattoos…of which he one…and it’s really small. He his a celtic triskelion on his left shoulder, and we’re not sure why exactly, but we know that it’s really small. Impressive life Zach…not so impressive ink.

Stallone’s Colorful Pieces

Before you make any comments (like many have made) about any problems you may have with The Expendables and Bullet To The Head star Sylvester Stallone’s semi-new tattooed look and “unnatural” musculature, let us remind you: He’s 65 years old, in better shape than almost any 20 year old you’ve ever seen, if he’s on ‘roids it doesn’t matter because it’s not like he’s cheating at anything, and he’s Rocky. All that equates to one thing: shut up…unless you want to make fun of his Ed Hardy shirts, because those things are ridiculous. Whew, now that that’s off our chests, let’s discuss the fact that Stallone is covered in ink! On his right shoulder; he has a perfectly done portrait of his wife Jennifer Flavin, surrounded by three roses that represent their three daughters (they all have the middle name ‘Rose’); he has a tiger on his right pec; a thorough, but unknown design on his left arm/chest; and his back is covered by a design that includes a woman covered in a sash and a dagger running down his spine. All the ink is very colorful, but seeing as how he’s already pretty old, we doubt it’s going to have time to fade that much before he gets old enough that it doesn’t matter.

Edward Norton’s Movie Tattoos Tell You What Not to Do

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Ed Norton doesn’t have any tattoos or does he? Well, in the movies at least he knows how to act like he does. But wait, we do believe (from the rumors) that he does have one confirmed tat – The band logo of Black Flag, the 70s-80s punk rock band. This is on his upper back, left side.

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Now, about his movie ink. These are not the kind of crude prison tats you get in prison but are the kind that show that you are likely to end up in prison.

First off – American X. If there is anything a swastika tattoo tells us about a person, it is that they are headed for a hate-filled downward spiral towards an empty life. And that is what that movie was about, so that was a good choice for the character. Then, he has a German empire eagle, barbed wire and some other bad ideas appropriate for the film character.

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Next, you have Norton back in prison again with the 2010 movie Stone. In this one, he plays a another psycho (with cornrows) but we don’t see anything particularly wrong with his ink – a big rose, a dragon, and a few others (forearm, back). Here, I guess the message is simply that prison psychos are likely to have tough looking tattoos.

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Frankie Muniz aka Malcolm aka Agent Cody’s Tattoos

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Frankie Muniz, former star of Malcolm In The Middle and Agent Cody Banks; recently hasn’t been in the pubic eye as much as he used to. This is probably because he’s gotten too old to play little kids, but still looks too young to play adults. Either way, he’s taken his time out of the spotlight to join a band (called “You Hang Up” become a race-car driver, and to get two tattoos on the inside of his forearm. One of them, two checkered flags crossing each other like a coat of arms, appears to be in tribute to his love of racing. His other tattoo though, is a bit harder to understand. It obviously says “Zero”, but why? We’ve narrowed it down to three things: it’s a reference to The Smashing Pumpkins, it’s how many worries he has at this point in his insanely rich life, or it’s how many acting gigs he got offered last year.

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Some of the Worst Tattoos of Celebrities Ever

Some of them were bad ideas, some of them were poorly done, most of them are too big and some of them are all three. Be glad its not you who had the bright idea.

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Pacino – Scarface

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amy-lee

Amy Lee zombie version.

 

beetlejuice

Scary Beetlejuice, too much color.

 

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Ghostbusters

 

bjork

Whats this technicolor rave nightmare style?

 

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bob-barker

This is either Bob Barker or a Juggalo clown. Another nightmare.

 

bob-dylan

Can we get some more shading for Bob Dylan’s face I can still see some of it.

 

bono

Bono, pretty well executed tattoo here but pretty darn big.

 

britney-spears-shaved-head
This is the guy who killed John Lennon or the one who tried to kill Reagan I think or else one of those serial killers.