Category Archives: Bad Tattoo

ScarJo Puts The “Art” in “Body Art”

Scarlett Johansson is an interesting young lady; she’s always walked the line between glamorous and trashy, sometimes successfully mixing the two, much to the confusion of us all. Within the same time frame, she walked the red carpet to raves about her classic Hollywood good looks, and openly admitted to having sex with Benicio Del Toro in an elevator. She also spent three years married to Ryan Reynolds, which whether you’re a woman or a man; gay, straight, or other; you have to admit seems like a good idea. The more we think about, she’s actually really awesome…except for her taste in tattoos; she seems to be lacking in that department. During a recent trip to Paris, the Avengers star got some new ink, and it’s…ummmm…it’s pretty darn horrible actually.

As you can see, the multi-millionaire got a horseshoe with an ultra classy “Lucky You” banner around it on her ribcage. We’re going to assume that she’s inferring that whoever sees her naked has gotten lucky, which is true in a real life in the flesh sense, but not so true in the grander scheme of things (in case you forgot, some nakey pictures of her spread through the web like wildfire a few months back). Either way, it’s a horrible piece of body “art”.

For starters, it looks like a third grade Indianapolis Colts fans art project, and not like a professionally done piece of work. Secondly, it’s really trashy, and not in a trendy way; in a “stripper who hangs out at airport hotels on Sunday nights” sort of way. Thirdly, it’s placement doesn’t even make the most sense, as whoever takes her clothes off would have to crane his neck sideways to see it properly. Finally, it’s so bad that we almost made the headline: “Body Art? More like body fart!”. Okay, so that last one happens every time we do any article about a bad tattoo, but still, it’s not a good sign.

Our final assesment of Scarlett Johansson’s new ink is that she must’ve done it ironically. Not to say that she doesn’t think that someone would be lucky to see her lady parts, but we think that she said: “I want to get a really trashy tattoo because I think it’s funny how rich and famous I am”. So basically this is her entry into the world of people with annoying hipster tattoos that hold zero meaning, zero sentiment or fond memory, and aren’t even funny. Hey, at least she didn’t get a Pringle’s Guy (or the “Natty Boh Guy Hon!” if you’re from Baltimore) mustache done on her finger; that makes us want to start fires.

Penn Badgley’s New Boring Tattoo

We don’t like it. Before you even ask, let it be known that unless it has some hugely important significance to the owner, we never like tattoos like this. We’re talking about Penn Badgely’s feather tattoo that he has on his calf. Something about the tattoo is just too lazy for our tastes. It’s not ornate, it’s not different, it doesn’t stand out at all; it just looks like something that he picked off the shop wall. Badgely is a bit of a huge hipster in real life, so we assumed that he’s have something different, or at least well done, but instead he has that…thing.  Call up Gossip Girl because rumored has it that Penn didn’t think his tattoo all the way through.

 

Superfan Gets Tooth Tattoo – Can’t Decide Between Saving Wife or Shortstop

This is just ridiculous. Look, we respect the concept of loving a team so much that you get their logo tattooed on yourself; we dont’t neccesarily agree with it, but we get it. However, this dude having a New York Yankees’ logo inked on his tooth is both ridiculous and mildy insane. In his defense, the idea wasn’t his; he was under anesthetic when his dentist buddy decided to give him the gift of tooth-tat. However, he didn’t immediatedly slap the snot out of his boy, and instead thanked him and claims that he loves the tooth-ink. We’re really not sold on this guy, it just seems like a dumb place to get tattooed, and there’s no way that it’s going to hold in the long term. Whatever, to each his own.

When asked if he would save the life of his wife or Derek Jeter were both of them drowning, this guy couldn't decide. Who can blame him? Even Elmo loves Jeter.

Chris Brown’s Crazy New Ink

Chris Brown already has a bunch of tattoos, but much like assault charges, he’s still find room for more. The “Look At Me Now” and “Beautiful People” artist/girl punch/Drake fighter recently got two new tattoos in a ten day span, and both of them are a bit ridiculous. First up, he went and got his neck inked; it’s a nicely done tattoo, but we’re not really sure we get it, seeing as “it” is “an Indian Cheif tranforming into a wolf”. Is it supposed to be a representation of the two sides of his personality? Well then the wolf almost makes sense (we would’ve gone with hyenna), but that would mean that the other side of Chris is…in charge of a tribe? Wise? Owner of a casino? It’s really a mixed message. The other new tattoo, which appears to be on his back or forearm is a little more straight forward, but just as dumb; it’s Brown himself wearing a painter’s mask. It’s called “The Bandit” and represents his new love of art. Whatever man, way to put yourself on yourself un-ironically… what a nerd.

Ke$ha’s New Tat – Guess Where?

No folks, she didn’t do that one herself…well we don’t think she did…okay, if she did we’re really impressed with her mirror skills. Known for always having a tattoo gun at her side so that she can permanently scare any sap that gets close enough and/or drunk around her, Ke$ha added some new ink to her body recently, and we’ll be the ones to say it: it’s dumb. The “We R Who We R” and “Tik Tok” singer got “Suck It” tattooed on the inside of her lip, and while we have no problem with people getting ink inside their mouths, we do have a problem with women co-opting that phrase from the male gender…we’re lying, we have a problem witth unfunny women co-opting that statement. Basically, if Kaitlin Olsen or Amy Poehler got the same tattoo, we’d think it was hilarious, but we’re not really sure that Kesha even gets why that would be funny, she’s just doing it for shock value, and that dumb and annoying. So with that said, we boo you Ke$ha; boo.

Harry Styles – Boy Band “Star” Gets Inked

Here’s the deal folks; the problem with tattoos becoming more and more accepted in society is that while we’re excited that we’re no longer looked at like scumbag for having ink, everyone and their mother are getting them. This includes all your favorite boy-banders and teen idols like (*pukes a little in mouth*) Justin Bieber and One Direction’s Harry Styles. The only One Direction song we know is “What Makes You Beautiful”, and that’s the most unfortunately awesome song ever, so we’re strangely okay with young Harry getting a tattoo. Actually, he has two…well he’s had two sittings at least. The first time he jumped in the chair he got himself a hollow star on his arm that people think represents spirit, truth, and hope. His next sitting yielded some writing underneath that is aparently the lyrics to a Temper Trap song called “Sweet Disposition”. We actually hope that Harry Styles gets more ink so that we have more of an excuse to like that song, but until then, we will only sing along in shame.

Poo Tattoo: Did It Really Happen?

Here we have the makings of an urban legend folks. The above picture is supposedly of a girl from Ohio named Rossie Brovent who made the life-altering mistake of getting a tattoo done by the man she was cheating on. The original story that was reported states that Brovent asked her then boyfriend, Ryan Fitzjerald, to ink a scene from the Chronicles of Narnia on her back, but didn’t realize that he was aware that she was being unfaithful to him with his best friend. Fitzjerald got his revenge by tattooing this breathtaking poo landscape on her instead. There’s rumors going around that the whole thing is fake, but we refuse to believe that. We want to believe that we live in a world where someone is both wierd enough to want to get the lion, the witch,and/or the wardrobe tattooed on her back, and where someone can seek revenge vie doodie-tat. You can prove it’s fake all you want internet, but much like Santa, pro wrestling, the moon landing, and our secret girlfriend that we met in a chatroom; we’re going to keep believing that it’s real.

Jersey-pocalypse – Top Jersey Tattoos

We’ve already covered a few of those foolios from Jersey Shore and they have some of what you might expect – Snooki, Ronnie and Pauly D. Here’s a few more from the gang.

Jersey Shore's Vinny has a tat somehow related to Sicily apparently

Deena’s work –

Deena's feet

Jwoww's back

We’ve also got Jon Bon Jovi!

Other good ones you might see if you were on a tour of Jersey ink:

For dudes: barbed wire, tribal, horror clowns, Italian flag, Jersey devils, skulls and shit written in script that don’t make sense.

For chicks: the tramp stamp (lower back tattoo), butterflies and more shit written in stoopid script that don’t make sense.

Here are a few of our other favorites – Jersey boy and girl tattoos with the outline of the state!

Gucci Mane’s Ice Cream Cone Face Tattoo…Is Not A Typo

Folks, we here at Celebrity Tattoo Design see a lot of ridiculous ink, so it takes a lot to surprise us, and even more to make our jaws drop, but we will be damned if we didn’t stare in awe when we got a look at Gucci Mane. The man who gave us Back to the Trap House, The State Vs. Radric Davis, and The Appeal: Georgia’s Most Wanted has two of the most random tattoos we’ve seen in a while, the “EA Sports” video game logo, and an ice cream cone with lightning coming out of it. However, what takes them from random to completely insane is where they’re placed. The EA logo is on his throat, and the ice cream cone is on his face. We tried and we tried, but other than it being proof that he wasn’t lying when he pleaded insanity in a recent court case, there’s no good reason why he would’ve gotten this tattoo. Yes, we know it says “brrr” and that’s his catchphrase, but still; there’s better tattoos and better body parts he could have went with.

Steve O’s Self Portrait Rocks

Jackass cast member, stuntman, and all around gluten for punishment; Steven “Steve-O” Glover recently re-entered the entertainment world as a sober man after years of drug and alcohol abuse. Once known for his hard partying lifestyle, the original member of the Jackass crew is now only known for his crazy stunts and crazy tattoos. Amongst his random pieces of ink are a play on the “BAM” symbol (from his Jackass cast mate Bam Margera’s clothing line) that includes a phallus shape instead of a heart, and a “smiley face” that he got in the back of a moving truck during a bit for one of the Jackass films. However, his most famous piece of ink is the giant autographed portrait of himself on his back. The piece, drawn directly from an autographed photo of Steve-O, also features the “hand written” message: “Yeah dude, I rock!”. It’s hard to argue with this, seeing as how if you get your own picture tattooed on yourself; you do in fact rock.