We don’t like it. Before you even ask, let it be known that unless it has some hugely important significance to the owner, we never like tattoos like this. We’re talking about Penn Badgely’s feather tattoo that he has on his calf. Something about the tattoo is just too lazy for our tastes. It’s not ornate, it’s not different, it doesn’t stand out at all; it just looks like something that he picked off the shop wall. Badgely is a bit of a huge hipster in real life, so we assumed that he’s have something different, or at least well done, but instead he has that…thing. Call up Gossip Girl because rumored has it that Penn didn’t think his tattoo all the way through.
We don’t really like Russell Brand around these parts; he’s a bit annoying and his hair reminds us of our weird Aunt Yaya, and she was really mean to us when we were kids (yes…we’re all related, don’t question it). However, we respect how meaningful his new tattoos are. The devote Yoga practitioner recently stepped out with his instructor to do some charity work (another respectable thing…we still don’t like him, but we’d probably have to shake his hand if we met him), and was rocking a sleaveless t-shirt that showed off his new ink. The tattoos, which he’s believed to have gotten a couple of months ago, are of the seven chakras of Hindu and Buddhist yoga and tantra traditions. The tattoos are in Sankrit and chakras are the seven energy centers that it’s believed the body houses. Brand has become very spiritual in recent years, and regularly practices yoga; despite his close relationship with his instructor, he doesn’t take private lessons and prefers instead to practice in a public class setting.
Alright folks, so this isn’t the first time we’ve told you about a member of the Jersey Shore cast getting inked, but it’s the first time we’ve told you about JWoww getting tattoos…since the last time we told you about JWoww getting tattoos. Either way, adding to the collection of ink that we’ve already told you about, the Jersey girl has two new big pieces on her body. First she got the one on her right shoulder while she was in Italy; it’s a tribute to her grandma. It’s a nice tribute piece that features praying hands and a cross, as well as the words “RIP” and “OMA” (that’s what she called her grandma). After that came her most recent work, a huge tiger on her right hip that’s meant to act as the second half of a yin-yang/good-evil symbol; the first half being the big dragon she has on her ribs. This piece is also well done, and sits well on her body. JWoww is pretty heavily inked at this point, but all of her work is well placed and all of it looks great on her. We don’t see her getting too much more done, as she’s running out of prime real estate and doesn’t seem like she wants to move onto her arms.
We’re not completly sure if we’re ready to refer to one of the stars of Teen Mom 2 (she wasn’t even on the original cast! She saw how stupid the show and it’s cast were…and still got pregnant and went on the show!) as a celebrity, but one of them got a new tattoo, so let’s talk about it. Kailyn Lowry says that the back piece isn’t finished yet, but it’s already pretty friggin’ extensive. The piece, which is seven sessions deep already, has a caption that reads “to the world you are one person, but to one person you are the world” and features flowers, trees, and rolling hills. It’s aparently going to be some kind of big landscape piece, but we’re not sure if she’s going to extend it into her mid-back more and add a ton of design, or if she’s just going to build on the outline design that she’s got going. She should probably keep it as the outline she has now, because her lack of tattoage elsewhere would make a full back piece look a bit out of place. We’d like to give her more guff about the ink, but it’s not bad work and the message is really nice, so we’ll let her slide. We will however give her guff about being a teen mom; thanks for the new drain on the economy Kailyn, we really needed another one.
Here’s the deal folks; the problem with tattoos becoming more and more accepted in society is that while we’re excited that we’re no longer looked at like scumbag for having ink, everyone and their mother are getting them. This includes all your favorite boy-banders and teen idols like (*pukes a little in mouth*) Justin Bieber and One Direction’s Harry Styles. The only One Direction song we know is “What Makes You Beautiful”, and that’s the most unfortunately awesome song ever, so we’re strangely okay with young Harry getting a tattoo. Actually, he has two…well he’s had two sittings at least. The first time he jumped in the chair he got himself a hollow star on his arm that people think represents spirit, truth, and hope. His next sitting yielded some writing underneath that is aparently the lyrics to a Temper Trap song called “Sweet Disposition”. We actually hope that Harry Styles gets more ink so that we have more of an excuse to like that song, but until then, we will only sing along in shame.
Mirror,Mirror star Julia Roberts is the last person we expected to get a lower-back tattoo…okay, Oprah is the last person we expected to get a lower-back, but Julia Roberts is definitely on the list. The Ocean’s 11 star is one of Hollywood’s most respected women, so her new-ish tattoo was a bit of a surprise to us; although, the fact that it’s a tribute to her family makes it a lot more respectable. The piece, which is rather large, is an illustration that we can’t make out surrounded by the names of her three children (Henry, Phinnaeus and Hazel). It’s a great sentiment, but a terrible tattoo; and we also have to question her choice of placement again, as she’s past the point in her life where one would normally get a lower-back tattoo. She might have been better off getting the names inked separately in a different spot.
Okay, so Selena Gomez says that she got a tattoo, there’s pictures of her in the tattoo shop with a famous tattoo artist, but ummmm…that looks a lot more like a piece of glitter or some confetti. We’re going to give her the benefit of the doubt because we don’t really care to look into it and because she seems like an okay girl; we’re going to say that it’s ink and not party decoration. Wizards of Waverly Place star and Justin Bieber’s girlfriend now has a tiny music note design on her right wrist that must’ve taken approximately 5 minutes to get done and couldn’t have cost her more than fifty bucks. She said that it represents her love of music. We guess it’s cute, but in more of a little kid wearing her mother’s shoes and jewelry way than in a aesthetically pleasing way.
We’re not sure when country legend Dolly Parton got her “tattoo”, hell, we’re not even sure if that’s a tattoo, because it could just as well have been a ketchup stain judging by its size. Regardless, people that got a closer look at the Joyful Noise star claim that she has a small tattoo of a rose between her breasts. We guess we can see it, and it makes sense that she’d be okay drawing more attention to her chest, seeing as how a large part of her image has been that large part of her build. Really folks, when it comes down to it, who cares? She’s Dolly Parton, she’s a National Treasure; she’s got her own theme park (DollyWood), countless awards, millions of records sold, does a ton of charity work, and has been married to the same guy for over 45 years! She could get “Celebrity Tattoo Design sucks” tattooed on her face and we’djust be happy she thought of us.
We’re starting to wonder how many tattoos “Baby” singer Justin Bieber can get before girls stop screaming and passing out everytime he opens his mouth. Our careers as teen idols started to fizzle out right around tattoo number three, and the Biebs just got his third little piece of ink. You see in our experience, ink only keeps you in hearthrob territory if you’re muscular and masculine, not when you’re built like a female meth-head…just a thought. Anyway, Justin Bieber showed off his new Jesus calf tattoo (it’s from a work called Ecce Homo, not a a tattoo of Jesus’ calf) during a recent beach trip, and while it’s a well done piece of body art, it’s still on Justin Bieber, and none of his tattoos (check them out) are allowed to get our stamp of approval. He’s really bringing our stock down; if he keeps this up, we’re going to have to get face tats just to keep our rep (*incorrectly throws up gang sign, does running-man, leaves with head hung low*).
It takes a special kind of person to get a tattoo on his or her head, and that special kind of person is usually especially frightening; so even though he is no longer a high level Mixed Martial Artist, Chuck Liddell’s head tattoo makes sure he will always be intimidating. However, the former Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Light-Heavyweight Champion of the World and UFC Hall of Famer’s ink actually has a niver meaning. In Liddell’s own words, “It says Koei-Kan which is the martial arts style I started in first. It means a place of peace and prosperity.”. Liddell also has a creepy looking fighter-guy on his shoulder that says “Kempo” (another martial art) under it, and that one is their just to show his love for the art that made him millions and madehim a legend. Chuck Liddell may not be on top anymore, but his tattoos will forever be champions in our book, and we still wouldn’t want to run into him a dark ally…he seems to nice to hurt us, but now that we’ve wrote this, it might be awkward.