This is just ridiculous. Look, we respect the concept of loving a team so much that you get their logo tattooed on yourself; we dont’t neccesarily agree with it, but we get it. However, this dude having a New York Yankees’ logo inked on his tooth is both ridiculous and mildy insane. In his defense, the idea wasn’t his; he was under anesthetic when his dentist buddy decided to give him the gift of tooth-tat. However, he didn’t immediatedly slap the snot out of his boy, and instead thanked him and claims that he loves the tooth-ink. We’re really not sold on this guy, it just seems like a dumb place to get tattooed, and there’s no way that it’s going to hold in the long term. Whatever, to each his own.
So that’s weird…yeah, that’s pretty much the best thing we can say about these images. You’re looking at the tattoos of a guy whose Twitter name is @MileyCyrusCarl, and he’s apparently such a big fan on ole’ Hannah Montana that he’s tattooed her name, likeness, autograph, and we think song lyrics (we refuse to do that kind of research) all over himself. What in the name of all that it creepy is wrong with this guy?! Is he a stalker that we should worry about? Or is he just so monumentally dense that he thinks that it’s normal for a grown man to get tattoos of a teen-pop idol all over his grown-man self? Did we mention that he has fifteen of them all together? That means he’s by all definitions “heavily tattooed” and it’s completely because of his love for Miley friggin’ Cyrus. Look, we could be wrong and this guy could be a saint that saves kitten from burning nun-factories, but if he ends up being a kook, we won’t be surprised. Also, that arm-ink looks like the girl from The Ring…so that’s weird too.
What. Is. He. Thinking? Yes folks, that’s a real tattoo of the ESPN logo on someone’s face. Hoping it would get him enough attention that he’d make it on to ESPN’s Sportscenter, this severely mislead young man decided that he would get the network tattooed on the side of his face above his eyebrow. This is easily one of the worst ideas in the history of bad ideas. It’s a corporate logo for a corporation that he doesn’t work for that covers sports and he’s not an athlete. We could understand if an up and coming NFL player got ESPN inked on him as a reminder to his opponents that he will make highlights out them, but this is just a normal guy who now will conjure images of Chris Berman wherever he goes. We’d love to support this kind of stupidity, but we can’t think a reason why we would. You’ve failed my friend, no top ten plays, no WebGem, no Espy, just a stupid tattoo.
Let’s be honest folks, there’s nothing that’s not creepy about this guy. Everyone say “Hi!” to diehard Chicago Bears fan Glenn Timmerman, the man who has way too many tattoos of his favorite team. Amongst Glenn’s Bear-loving ink is the logo on the back of his head, the giant grizzly bear on his shoulder, a Super Bowl Twenty logo on his neck, another grizzly on his opposite shoulder, various art-pieces of Soldier Field, various player-picture pieces and a bunch of player autographs. By our current definition, “a bunch” stands for 126 different autographs that began with Otis Wilson and hopefully end someday with Jim McMahon, Gale Sayers, and Jay Cutler. Mind you, he doesn’t just go find the autograph at a convention, or buy it online; he goes and has the player sign his body and then he goes directly to the tattoo shop and has it made permanent. Wow, that’s dedication…weird dedication that would make us concerned for him if we knew him, but dedication either way.
Eleven years is a long time to wait to finish a tattoo, but we guess this guy really likes dead baseball players. The ”guy” in question is Mike McWain of Pasco, Washinton (US); he spent eleven years, 180 hours in the chair, and $10 thousand to get a mural on his back and arms that he refers to as his own “Field of Dreams”. The ink features the likenesses of “Shoeless” Joe Jackson, Honus Wagner, Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio, Ted Williams, Lou Gehrig, Walter Johnson and Ty Cobb; set over images that connect the game with the hands of a higher power; the tattoo also features historic Yankee Stadium, Ty Cobb sliding cleats up, and his children (he wants them to be surrounded by the game). Looking at it, it really is a lot like the movie Field Of Dreams, except with less Kevin Costner and more semi-creepy depictions of baseball heaven. According to McWain, the piece took so long to finish because of the switch in priorities that came with the birth of his kids who, now around eleven years old, are apparently no longer that important.
Wow, that guy is probably paying really close attention to the NFL free agency market. This Pittsburgh Steelers fan decided to immortalize future Hall of Fame receiver Hines Ward on his body with a tattoo, right before the Steelers cut him. The Super Bowl MVP and Dancing with the Stars winner was dropped by the only team he’s ever played for in a cost cutting move, leaving people who own his jersey pissed off, and the guy that tattooed him on himself start saving for laser surgery. Ward has a tattoo of his own, albeit a more timeless one. The All-Pro has a piece on his right arm that features Mickey Mouse and some Asian writing. Ward seems confident in the ink, believing that despite the current economic climate Mickey’s gig as a cartoon mouse is safe.
Miljenko Parserisas Bukovic; remember that name. Remember that name because if Julia Roberts ever gets kidnapped, it’s clearly him that did it; well, him or The Hamburglar, burger theft is a gateway crime. The Chilean-born Bukovic has taken his devotion to the Pretty Woman star a bit further than most people would, as he’s gone out and gotten 82 different tattoos of her on his torso and arms. Better yet, and even stranger, is that they’re all scenes from Erin Brokovich, the movie that won Roberts her Academy Award. The extensive, yet horribly done, ink has cost him over $2,000; that’s less than $30 per piece, and they’re all “portraits”. Nothing says “quality” like portrait work that costs less than a pair of New Balance sneakers. Bukovic said that he plans on getting more Julia-ink so long as he doesn’t run out money or skin. Imagine trying to explain those tattoos to, well, anybody; “Oh my tattoos? They’re just 82 Julia Robertses…please stop running away!”. Like we said before, his ink is mostly terrible, yet still, it’s somehow better than the tattoo that Julia Roberts has.
Benjamin Christensen really loves baseball and if you don’t believe him, just ask that he take off his shirt. Once the awkwardness of asking a stranger to go topless wears off, take a look at the sides of his torso to see one of the most intricate, well done, and coolest Major League Baseball fan tattoos ever. Christensen has all 30 teams represented on him, mostly all of them in Mascot form, and all of them intricate. Amongst the characters represented on his skin, he has the Pittsburgh Pirate’s Parrot on acid (in honor of their pitcher, Dock Ellis, pitching a no-hitter high), the Phillie Phanatic high-fiving Green Man from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, the Chicago Cubs’ logo wearing Harry Caray glasses, and the Baltimore Bird holding a bat with curse-words on it (in honor of the famous photo of Oriole Billy Ripken, in which he had the same curses written on the knob of his bat). Benjamin has put some thought into his ink, and it came out great.
We lied, there is no debate, they’re both absolutely horrible tattoos. As you can see from the pictures, today we are discussing the “super fan” who got Take Care artist/rapper Drake’s name inked on her forehead in huge block-letters; and the other “devoted follower” of The Appeal: Georgia’s Most Wanted rapper Gucci Mane, who got the same ice cream cone tattoo that he has…on her face. Wow, those are some whoppers; face tattoos as a concept are usually bad ideas if you’re not part of tribe or warrior clan, but face tattoos that are their to show allegiance to rappers, those are bad ideas of a while other kind. We realy can’t say who made the worse decision, but we guess it’s fair to say that the Drake fan’s ink somehow looks worse since it’s so…it’s block letters on her forehead and the other one is a design, we’re sure you understand. Drake himself has voiced anger at the artist who allowed the young fan to get the tattoo, while Gucci Mane was probably too busy in court to comment.
Folks, we have winner! In what can only be described as a last second miracle, some poor sap, mostly likely from Colorado, has won Celebrity Tattoo Design’s first annual “Most Ridiculous Fan Tattoo” award that doesn’t really exist. The winning tattoo is of Denver Bronco’s star quarterback and former Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow. Oh yeah, he’s a centaur…Tebow, not the guy who got the tattoo…Tebow is a centaur in the tattoo, not in real life. So yeah, somebody thought it was a good idea that since Tim Tebow plays for the Broncos, and broncos are horses, that they would get a half Tebow/half horse inked on their body; they also thought it would be a good idea to not put any effort into finding a good tattoo artist; and they thought they should caption the “art” with “Tebow Time”. The Tebow-taur is the perfect bad tattoo; it’s equal parts bad idea and poor execution…it’s almost beautiful.