Let’s get something straight here folks: people love Jon Bon Jovi. The man has fans that after thirty years still go to all of his shows and pay a zillion bucks to meet him; he also has quite a few hits (“Livin’ On A Prayer”, “It’s My Life”, etc) and quite a few million bucks in the bank. It’s clear that he’s done well for himself, but as great as things have been for Bon Jovi, how have they been for Jon Bovi? No, I’m not talking about the band from the Saturday Night Live bit, I’m talking about the never before seen singer that apparently wrote “It’s Is My Life”. He must exist, because recently some dude had it inked on his arm and his girlfriend threw it on Reddit to show the world. In the unlikely event that he doesn’t exist, the tattoo is the worst typo ever…or the best joke ever; I’m thinking the latter. Either way, take a look at it, and a real fan tattoo of the singer’s face just for good measure; either one is better than the tattoos that the man himself has…a Superman symbol, a bull skull, and a dragon? His music is original, but his ink sure isn’t…
Also, just for good measure, here’s a Bon Jovi fan tattoo that went the way it was supposed to…
So this one is a little weird. Our buddies over at www.celebrityplasticsurgery.tv report on fan surgeries all the time; this is a different idea than your standard “fan tattoo”. You see, when someone get’s a fan tattoo, it usually means that they’re having body art done in honor of someone they love; a fan surgery is usually when a fan undergoes plastic surgery in order to look more like their favorite famous face and/or body. Now this is a little weird in itself, and almost always goes way beyond the standard “I want Brooke Burke’s boobs” plastic surgery decision, but at least it’s done to look like a real person…most of the time. Some people are fans of cartoons/comics though, and that’s when these things get a little dicey. This brings us to Venezuelan citizen Henry Damon, a man who has had both fan surgery and fan tattoos done in order to look more like…The Red Skull? Yeah, he had work done and had his skin tattooed in order to look like the Nazi bad guy from “Captain America”…Before going under the knife and in front of the ink gun, Damon was actually a pretty normal, if not handsome looking man with a wife and kids…Now, according to is plastic surgeon/tattoo artist (the articles I’m reading make me think that this dude hit up a one-stop shop), Damon is still perfectly normal, because he had to pass an unnamed battery of psychological tests before going through with his procedures. Did I mention that the guy who did all of this stuff to him is a med-school dropout who specializes in extreme body modification? Yes, I’m aware that that sounds like the character description for the killer from a B-movie, but that’s who the dude is. Here’s Henry after beginning his process of Red-Skull-ification…That’s post forehead implants and eyeball tattooing, and pre-nose job; although, is it still a rhinoplasty is it’s a straight up removal?Yup, he had his nose removed. After that, he went in front of the tattoo needle again to have his skin turned red and black to better resemble ole’ Skull-dawg. He’s still a work in progress, but here he is at a tattoo convention recently…I’m not sure exactly why he’s decided to drastically change himself into the image of a hate-mongering supervillian (especially when everyone around him swears he’s a good dude), but I can tell you this much: next time someone looks at my forearms and asks me if I’m worried how they’re going to look when I get old, I’m just going to show them this dude and they’ll probably never bother me again!
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new leader in our long running race for “worst tattoo idea ever”, and his name is… Stian Ytterdahl? Okay, while you all try to pronounce that little bit of Norwegian verbal magic, let’s discuss his ridiculous ink and the fascinatingly idiotic circumstances that surround it. For starters, let’s just get the tattoo itself out of the way so that you can start trying to get over the shock and feelings of “the whole world is screwed if this is our youth” that you’ll undoubtedly feel: he got a McDonalds receipt inked on his arm. Not the receipt that his wife first wrote her number on, not the receipt from the meal he never finished because his wife baby was born…just a regular old McDonalds receipt from a meal he and his buddies were having on a Monday night. It’s not the worst tattoo from a quality standpoint, the small lettering is a little jumbled and will probably become just blobs of ink as he gets older, but it looks like the info from a fast food receipt. From far away, it could be anything and he could maybe lie and tell people that it’s some sort of Sci-Fi bar-code thingy and maybe get away with it, but up close it’s a Micky Dee’s order for sure. Why did he get it? Because he was doing too well with the ladies of course! Yeah, we’re not buying it either. He alleges that his friends made him get the tat because he was bedding down too many women and…yeah, he’s got to be lying. Anyhow, he either was going to get the piece of fried gold he ended up with, or a Barbie Doll on his butt, so we guess he made the right choice? He’s planning on following this piece up with some free work on his other forearm from the artist who did the original. He’s going to get the receipt for the tattoo of the receipt. We can actually get behind the second piece because it makes the whole thing more funny and less idiotic. He should get inked pretty heavy if he doesn’t want to be made fun of forever, because dumb tattoos tend to be less dumb when they’re not your only ink. Personally, we think he should just keep getting receipts until he’s covered, that will extend his fifteen minutes of fame for sure. We wish him the best in his future tattooing, and we got to give him a little bit of credit, because he made the news and we didn’t.
Well it looks like we won’t be getting those matching “Born To Sniff Butts” tattoos that we wanted to get with the office pitbull any time soon. A Brooklyn, New York tattoo artist is coming under heavy fire for inking his best friend…because said best friend is his dog. His pooch went in for surgery (spleen removal if the reports are accurate), and while she was under anesthetic he gave her a big ole’ piece on her dog-shoulder. Quick aside, we don’t know how to properly describe dog body parts, so we always add the word “dog” to human body parts, hence the term “dog-shoulder”. Anyhow, the guy put “Alex + Mel” on her with the classic heart and dagger combo artwork, and the world has lost its mind over the inking. He’s getting all sorts of flack from the media and from animal rights groups over it, and has already been fired from his job at “Red Legged Devil Tattoos” for it! He tried to defend his actions by saying that what he did was no different than when the ASPCA tattoos dogs for identification purposes, but they shot him down pretty quick on that one. We’re not sure how we feel about the who situation to be honest, but we can tell you this: it’s not worth firing him over and the guy doesn’t deserve to be blacklisted from life for it. The kind of guy who would drop the thousands of dollars that it costs for his animal into get surgery tends not to be the kind of guy who wants to torture and maim his pooch. Was it the smartest idea ever? No, but he’s not a terrible dog owner by any stretch of the imagination, for crap’s sake, he did it while the dog was out, the little one didn’t even feel the pain. He’s also not the first person to ever do this (check out the picture below), and at least his art was well done. So in closing: we’re not going to ink our pets anytime soon, but we’re not going to hate this guy for doing it to his.
So apparently people really like Kobe Bryant…like way more than any of us even like most of our families, because a shocking amount of people have chosen to get tribute ink of the Los Angeles Lakers star. The National Basketball Association MVP and preferential All-Star has quit a few tattoos himself, including tribute to his wife and children, but some Lakers’ fans see him in the same light, because they’ve straight up put his face on their bodies! Take for example…this guy:
He’s got Kobe’s entire head on his calf! We’re not sure if he’s praying or deep in thought in the piece, but he definitely has something on his mind. We’re going to call this work of body-art “Kobe Bryant: The Thinker” because we’re digging that tattooed Kobe is probably mulling life’s great questions around in his head, trying his best to solve them before the television time out is over and he has to get the inbound pass. The next piece we’re showing you isn’t quit as serious, and is only Kobe’s number and nickname…which happens to be “Black Mamba”. Yup, someday this dude will have to explain to his kids why he has what appears to be a penile reference on his arm, but hey, he loves The Lakers!
Next we have a full bodied Kobe who appears to be in the middle of a sick crossover. This isn’t as almost weird as the the head shot above because it’s him doing what he’s known for and not just a dude who’s good at basketball’s face. Our main problem with the ink is that the tattoo probably would refuse to take itself out of a game and them laugh at its coach tattoo for thinking that he had the power to…something real Kobe would never do…wait, that seems incorrect.
The final piece is another one of Kobe’s dome, but this one has flowers because nothing says “NBA Great” like ummmmm…flowers? Yeah, we’re not sure if signals got crossed on this one. Maybe the guy was like, ” I want Kobe with flashbulbs around him”, but the artist only heard the “bulbs” part. Either way, we’re going to call this one “Kobe Garcia” because it looks pretty hippy-esque.
So yeah, people really like Kobe Bryant, and tattoo artists in some places don’t feel the need to remind their customers that tattoos are permanent and that Kobe Bryant plays sports and is neither a fictional character nor an important person in world history. Whatever, we’re probably just jealous because only hobos want our faces inked on their bodies…and that’s just because we bribe them with canned goods and sweet bindles.
This is just ridiculous. Look, we respect the concept of loving a team so much that you get their logo tattooed on yourself; we dont’t neccesarily agree with it, but we get it. However, this dude having a New York Yankees’ logo inked on his tooth is both ridiculous and mildy insane. In his defense, the idea wasn’t his; he was under anesthetic when his dentist buddy decided to give him the gift of tooth-tat. However, he didn’t immediatedly slap the snot out of his boy, and instead thanked him and claims that he loves the tooth-ink. We’re really not sold on this guy, it just seems like a dumb place to get tattooed, and there’s no way that it’s going to hold in the long term. Whatever, to each his own.
So that’s weird…yeah, that’s pretty much the best thing we can say about these images. You’re looking at the tattoos of a guy whose Twitter name is @MileyCyrusCarl, and he’s apparently such a big fan on ole’ Hannah Montana that he’s tattooed her name, likeness, autograph, and we think song lyrics (we refuse to do that kind of research) all over himself. What in the name of all that it creepy is wrong with this guy?! Is he a stalker that we should worry about? Or is he just so monumentally dense that he thinks that it’s normal for a grown man to get tattoos of a teen-pop idol all over his grown-man self? Did we mention that he has fifteen of them all together? That means he’s by all definitions “heavily tattooed” and it’s completely because of his love for Miley friggin’ Cyrus. Look, we could be wrong and this guy could be a saint that saves kitten from burning nun-factories, but if he ends up being a kook, we won’t be surprised. Also, that arm-ink looks like the girl from The Ring…so that’s weird too.
What. Is. He. Thinking? Yes folks, that’s a real tattoo of the ESPN logo on someone’s face. Hoping it would get him enough attention that he’d make it on to ESPN’s Sportscenter, this severely mislead young man decided that he would get the network tattooed on the side of his face above his eyebrow. This is easily one of the worst ideas in the history of bad ideas. It’s a corporate logo for a corporation that he doesn’t work for that covers sports and he’s not an athlete. We could understand if an up and coming NFL player got ESPN inked on him as a reminder to his opponents that he will make highlights out them, but this is just a normal guy who now will conjure images of Chris Berman wherever he goes. We’d love to support this kind of stupidity, but we can’t think a reason why we would. You’ve failed my friend, no top ten plays, no WebGem, no Espy, just a stupid tattoo.
Let’s be honest folks, there’s nothing that’s not creepy about this guy. Everyone say “Hi!” to diehard Chicago Bears fan Glenn Timmerman, the man who has way too many tattoos of his favorite team. Amongst Glenn’s Bear-loving ink is the logo on the back of his head, the giant grizzly bear on his shoulder, a Super Bowl Twenty logo on his neck, another grizzly on his opposite shoulder, various art-pieces of Soldier Field, various player-picture pieces and a bunch of player autographs. By our current definition, “a bunch” stands for 126 different autographs that began with Otis Wilson and hopefully end someday with Jim McMahon, Gale Sayers, and Jay Cutler. Mind you, he doesn’t just go find the autograph at a convention, or buy it online; he goes and has the player sign his body and then he goes directly to the tattoo shop and has it made permanent. Wow, that’s dedication…weird dedication that would make us concerned for him if we knew him, but dedication either way.
Eleven years is a long time to wait to finish a tattoo, but we guess this guy really likes dead baseball players. The ”guy” in question is Mike McWain of Pasco, Washinton (US); he spent eleven years, 180 hours in the chair, and $10 thousand to get a mural on his back and arms that he refers to as his own “Field of Dreams”. The ink features the likenesses of “Shoeless” Joe Jackson, Honus Wagner, Babe Ruth, Joe DiMaggio, Ted Williams, Lou Gehrig, Walter Johnson and Ty Cobb; set over images that connect the game with the hands of a higher power; the tattoo also features historic Yankee Stadium, Ty Cobb sliding cleats up, and his children (he wants them to be surrounded by the game). Looking at it, it really is a lot like the movie Field Of Dreams, except with less Kevin Costner and more semi-creepy depictions of baseball heaven. According to McWain, the piece took so long to finish because of the switch in priorities that came with the birth of his kids who, now around eleven years old, are apparently no longer that important.
Tattoo designs from dragons to butterflies, angles to demons, on the skin of the famous.