Ron Swanson wins. Yes we’re fully aware that we didn’t stipulate any sort of contest, or set up any sort of comparision; we’re just saying that no matter what the situation, Ron Swanson wins. Nick Offerman plays Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation, so by extension he also wins no matter what. Oh yeah, he has a couple of tattoos too. He has a cross design armband on his left arm, and some sort of crest on his right arm; two pieces of ink that have a very every-man quality to them, like tattoos you would see on a carpenter or a woodworker. They make sense when you realize that he is in fact a woodworker in real life, and a very talented one at that. Think about it folks, Ron Swanson is just as manly in real life, that’s like finding out that Santa Claus is real and that he’s your dad.