Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe fame will be walking down the aisle for the third time. The 53 year old tattooed rocker slapped a 6 carat engagement ring on his 27 year old girlfriend Courtney Bingham. Nikki was previously married to Playboy playmate Brandi Brandt and has 3 children with her. He then married Bay Watch beauty Donna D’Errico which he has a daughter with. We wish Nikki and his new fiancée all the best. They say the 3rd time’s a charm.
Who needs hair when you can use that valuable real-estate for some more ink? That’s what Travis Barker of Blink-182 must have thought. Travis is so heavily tattooed he ran out of room for some new ones. At least that’s what he thought at first. Then it dawned on him that he could tattoo his head. Barker’s been collecting some new ink from several talented artists to create a collection of tattoos far cooler than any hair-do could be.
Scarlett Johansson is an interesting young lady; she’s always walked the line between glamorous and trashy, sometimes successfully mixing the two, much to the confusion of us all. Within the same time frame, she walked the red carpet to raves about her classic Hollywood good looks, and openly admitted to having sex with Benicio Del Toro in an elevator. She also spent three years married to Ryan Reynolds, which whether you’re a woman or a man; gay, straight, or other; you have to admit seems like a good idea. The more we think about, she’s actually really awesome…except for her taste in tattoos; she seems to be lacking in that department. During a recent trip to Paris, the Avengers star got some new ink, and it’s…ummmm…it’s pretty darn horrible actually.
As you can see, the multi-millionaire got a horseshoe with an ultra classy “Lucky You” banner around it on her ribcage. We’re going to assume that she’s inferring that whoever sees her naked has gotten lucky, which is true in a real life in the flesh sense, but not so true in the grander scheme of things (in case you forgot, some nakey pictures of her spread through the web like wildfire a few months back). Either way, it’s a horrible piece of body “art”.
For starters, it looks like a third grade Indianapolis Colts fans art project, and not like a professionally done piece of work. Secondly, it’s really trashy, and not in a trendy way; in a “stripper who hangs out at airport hotels on Sunday nights” sort of way. Thirdly, it’s placement doesn’t even make the most sense, as whoever takes her clothes off would have to crane his neck sideways to see it properly. Finally, it’s so bad that we almost made the headline: “Body Art? More like body fart!”. Okay, so that last one happens every time we do any article about a bad tattoo, but still, it’s not a good sign.
Our final assesment of Scarlett Johansson’s new ink is that she must’ve done it ironically. Not to say that she doesn’t think that someone would be lucky to see her lady parts, but we think that she said: “I want to get a really trashy tattoo because I think it’s funny how rich and famous I am”. So basically this is her entry into the world of people with annoying hipster tattoos that hold zero meaning, zero sentiment or fond memory, and aren’t even funny. Hey, at least she didn’t get a Pringle’s Guy (or the “Natty Boh Guy Hon!” if you’re from Baltimore) mustache done on her finger; that makes us want to start fires.
Alright folks, we’ve talked about Kesha’s tattoo obsession before (we know, it’s spelled Ke$sha, but none of that is a word, so we’re going to spell it like a real name), and as with everything about her, it’s kind of wierd and annoying. Just to recap; apparently Kesha keeps a tattoo gun on her just about all the time, despite not being a qualified tattoo artist. So, when you happen to decide to go visit her for a party, or to play video games, or to trade face-painting secrets; she can and will give you a random bad tattoo. That’s kind of insane, and just a bit gross. So with that said, it should come as no surprise that she had a tattoo artist ( a real one) at her recent birthday party.
Celebrating her 25th birthday at a party that had both a trampoline and photo booth, Kesha decided to commemorate the epic bash by getting her foot inked by the resident skin tagger. Because she had so much fun at the party, she of course got “fun” tattooed on herself…that’s stupid. Okay, maybe we’re being a little harsh, but the tattoo seems overly simplistic to the point of being annoying. She seems like the type of person who would get that tattoo just so people would ask her about it and she’d get more attention. Now we guess that it’s not hugely different than when someone gets Kanji words, but that’s an artistic language, so words look nice; English is clunky and mechanical, not the language you want to ink singular words from. She should’ve gotten a mini-trampoline, or some party balloons, or anything else that isn’t just the word “fun”. It’s not even artistically done, it’s just printed on there.
We will however give her some credit for having a tattoo artist at her party. It’s kind of a funny idea to have someone ready to ink people at an event where everyone is drunk and making poor decisions. Kesha also made some recent tattoo news when she inked her lip a few months back. She got the words “Suck It” scrawled into the inside of her mouth, so that when she decides to randomly open her lips up and show the world, we all know how she really feels. We are unsure of what exactly she wants people to perform said action on, but we’re going to assume she’s referring to some sort of candy, like a Jolly Rancher or something.
Hey folks, it’s time to take a little look at the ink that’s currently gracing some of your favorite stars, as we present (* Fancy bellowing announcer voice *) Wednesday’s Tattoo Round Up! We know, it’d be better if it were Tuesday for alliteration purposes…but it’s not…so yeah, just keep reading.
First up, we have Justin Bieber’s number one lady, Selena Gomez. The Wizards of Waverly Place star and “Love You Like A Love Song” singer previously only had one tiny tattoo, but she decided to add to her body art collection during a recent trip to New York. Gomez’s first ink was a little heart on her wrist; she got it at the Under The Gun shop in Los Angeles, and it’s so small that it’s hard to find a picture of it where it doesn’t look like a speck of dirt. Her new ink is a bit larger, but still isn’t huge; it also appears to have a much deeper meaning. Gomez got the Roman numerals “LXXVI” on the back of her neck, which translate into “73″. The new ink was done by famed New York City tattoo-man Bang Bang at his shop, and according to the artist, it has a very special meaning to Gomez. In a recent interview about the Spring Breakers star’s visit to his show, he stated “The tattoo was a tribute to a family member who she said means a lot to her.”. We don’t know the exact meaning of the ink; is it someone’s age when they passed away? Someone’s birth year? We have no idea, but we always respect a tribute piece; we also respect that her new tat can actually be seen without the aid of a microscope and/or a jeweler’s loop. He boyfriend Justin Bieber, who recently threw up on stage during a performance (that’s not really relevant, we just wanted to remind you of his embarrassment), has a bunch of ink of his own, so we have to wonder if he’s rubbing off on her.
Selena Gomez wasn’t the only star to go under the gun recently, as everyone’s favorite serial killer, Michael C. Hall also hit up the local tattoo parlor just days ago. Cameras caught the Dexter star sitting on a table at True Tattoo in Los Angeles having his foot worked on by one of their artists. When asked what he was having done, Hall said “I’m just doctoring up my alien markings.”, which is celebrity for “None of your business”. From the looks of it, it’s just an artistic design, although it does look like something cavemen would have drawn on cave walls after an extraterrestrial encounter.
So a young pop starlet and a guy who plays a murdering hero both got inked within days of each other; is this part of some kind of conspiracy? Are the stars aligning via body art to take over the world?! No. People just get inked sometimes, stop being crazy folks.
Well folks, the simple truth about our business is that some days there’s just nothing to write about, and others…well other days the world of celebrity gives you a shiny nugget of amazing to write about. Today is one such day, as both Rihanna and Chris Brown have gotten new tattoos within days of each other, and they’re so amazing that we almost didn’t believe that they were real. No, not “amazingly cool” or “amazingly well done”, there’s no fun in that; nope, they’re amazingly bad! The best kind of amazing! These two both already have their fair share of ink, especially Brown, but these new tats take the cake.
First up, we have Rihanna’s tattoo, which is supposedly a tribute to her grandmother. What’s the best way to pay homage to your momma’s momma? By getting the area directly under your boobs tattooed! Duh! She got some sort of Nubian or Egyptian goddess right smack dab on her breast bone. The wings spread under her breasts, which kind of makes it look like her boobs are going to fly away at any given moment, and the goddess’ head-dress extends up into her cleavage area which should lead to some weird looking cleavage. Now this isn’t a bad tattoo in the poorly done sense, it’s actually pretty nicely, albeit simplistically, designed; it even has a similar quality to the hawk that she recently got on on her foot. However, it’s a bad tattoo in the way of “why would someone who isn’t out of space everywhere else tattoo the area directly under her breasts!?”. We hate to be the ones to drop the old “How’s that going to look when you’re older?” on someone (especially considering how bad some of our ink is), but the moment she get’s pregnant or starts losing the age-old battle with gravity, that tattoo is going to look horrible. However poorly thought out Rihanna’s new ink may be, at least it’s not horrendously offensive and terrible…Chris Brown has that angle covered for the both of them.
Before we go any further, let’s just put this out there: Chris Brown is the worst. He’s a walking, talking everthing-that’s-wrong-with-music; he’s over produced, over praised, over confident, over forgiven, and we’re over him. So with that said; let’s all guess what the worst possible tattoo a guy who once beat his girlfriend (Rihanna, for those of you who take residence under the proverbial rock) to a pulp could get. Seriously, guess; pretend you didn’t look at the header picture and guess what the worst tattoo Chris Brown could ever get is. Yes folks, that’s not Photoshop, that’s a tattoo of a beaten woman on the neck of a guy who beats women. Furthermore, your eyes aren’t decieving you, the woman in the tattoo looks an awful lot like Rihanna…like a lot like Rihanna…as in “That’s clearly a tattoo of a beaten Rihanna on Chris Brown’s neck!” like Rihanna. Brown has of course denied that the tattoo is of Rihanna, instead calling it a coincidence and saying that it’s art but not a portrait. Does he really think that we’re all that stupid? More importantly, how many people actually are that stupid? If his album and concert ticket sales are any indication, a lot of people are that stupid. This new tattoo is just another reminder that Chris Brown doesn’t respect anyone or anything, and that he has horrible taste in ink. Furthermore, whoever did this piece should hang their head. Giving him this tattoo is no different than being the guy who inks hate symbols on Neo-Nazis; seriously dude, it’s not worth the money or the publicity it brings your shop.
So there you have it folks, Chris Brown and Rihanna both got new tattoos, and they really sum up the entire situation between the two of them. Rihanna got something that was well intentioned but ultimately a bad idea, and Chris Brown got a tattoo that shows his complete lack of respect for the female species and for people as a whole…and they both look pretty dumb in the end.
Ugh,
here we go again. We’ve talked before about how upset we are that “Boyfriend” singer Justin Bieber keeps getting tattoos. Well, he must’ve heard us, because as if only to spite us, he’s gotten more, and the newest one is absolutely infuriating. As if to declare himself the new King of Pop, Bieber has gotten a crown inked on his chest. We know about said tattoo because he insisted on posting shirtless pictures of himself to show it off. So here’s the issue: he isn’t the king of anything yet, he’s never even won a Grammy! Weird Al has Grammys! Okay, bad example; Weird Al is awesome and deserves all the Grammys, but the point remains: the kid hasn’t earned that ink yet.
He also really needs to stop posting pictures of himself shirtless; the kid doesn’t appear to know what the word “push-up” means, so he shouldn’t be showing the world his underdeveloped psysique like it’s his job. He’s built like Shaggy from Scooby Doo and an Ostriche had a baby, so he needs to keep a shirt on. We also can’t help but think that he thinks that tattoos make him a “Bad Boy”, well they don’t Justin, we all know you’re a wimpy little kid. Tattoos are meant to represent who you are, not who you’re pretending to be. We really can’t think of a nice thing to say about his new ink except for “Yeah, that’s a crown alright”, so we’re going to stop talking now. You’ve ruined our day again Bieber, and we’re sure this won’t be the last time.
Khloe Kardashian is easily the least annoying member of The Keeping Up With Kardashians cast (we refuse to admit that Olympic Hero Bruce Jenner is even involved with that circus, let alone that show), so we’re actually kind of upset that we’ve got to call her out on her bad tattoo, but we also like her other ink, so it’ll all even out.
Let’s start with the bad and we’ll get to the good later. Khloe has admitted in interviews that although all of her tattoos hold special meaning to her, she still regrets one of them…or at least it’s peculiar placement. The tattoo itself is a cross with “Daddy” written over it in honor of her late father Robert Kardashian, which is a wonderful. However, it’s a big ole’ tramp stamp…which is actually really weird when you think about it. It’s so inappropriate that when we first saw it we thought it was some sort of weird ode to a guy she once had a fling with. We were wrong though, it it’s for her actual father. Like we said, we’ll never crap on someone for showing parental love with their ink, but she really should’ve thought the placement through a whole lot more.
Her best tattoo is also dedicated to her father, so that makes up for the atrocity on her lower back. She has “I Love You” scrawled on her right wrist; a simple statement by itself, but when you factor in that she has it in her father’s handwriting, it’s a really great piece of work. There’s so much right about the idea and the execution behind this ink that we really started to forget about the tramp-stamp the moment we saw it.
Her last and latest tattoo is a dedication to her husband, NBA star Lamar Odom. She has his intials (“LO”…duh) inked on her left hand to show her love for her Khloe & Lamar partner. He has her initials inked in the same spot on his hand, making this tattoo another nicely executed bit on sentiment.
Overall, Khloe Kardashian is batting .666 with her tattoo choices, which is good enough for us. However, considering how much money she has coming in, and how unhappy she seems with her lower back piece, we think she should spring for a removal procedure. She should for sure get the tattoo redone somewhere else on her body (maybe her shoulder blade?), but it shouldn’t live in its current home. Khloe Kardashian still manages to be the most endearing member of the Kardashians, and she’s a laser and a needle away from having a very successful tattoo portfolio that’s filled with love and quality work.
While some of us may only know her as “the girl we thought was named ‘Pickles’ on American Idol”, Kellie Pickler is actually quite the performer. Don’t believe us? Well then ask any of the men and woman of the United States military who she’s performed for during her USO tours and they’ll tell you the hard way. To commemorate her time abroad entertaining the troops, the “Best Days of Your Life” and “I Wonder” singer has gotten a group of stars tattooed on her left arm (although she admits that she’s currently two short).
However, those aren’t the only tattoos the Idol loser turned successful country artist has, she also has “Prayer” inked on her right wrist, and a few more pieces of ink on her feet. Her feet tattoos are a heart outline, the word “Forgive”, and the name “Kaye”. The last one is her grandmother’s name, and is of special significance. Pickler was raised by her grandmother, and knew that while she was alive she hated tattoos; so of course she honored her by getting one of her name.
It’s an adorable bit of defiance and love that makes us all smile a little bit more than usual when we think about it. All of Kellie’s ink looks nice on her, and none of it is overdone or too big. We always question the idea of multiple foot tattoos just because we think it’s a weird spot to get inked, but that’s just a matter of opinion. Overall, we approve of the ink she’s had done, and we especially approve of why she’s had it done!
We don’t like it. Before you even ask, let it be known that unless it has some hugely important significance to the owner, we never like tattoos like this. We’re talking about Penn Badgely’s feather tattoo that he has on his calf. Something about the tattoo is just too lazy for our tastes. It’s not ornate, it’s not different, it doesn’t stand out at all; it just looks like something that he picked off the shop wall. Badgely is a bit of a huge hipster in real life, so we assumed that he’s have something different, or at least well done, but instead he has that…thing. Call up Gossip Girl because rumored has it that Penn didn’t think his tattoo all the way through.
