ScarJo Puts The “Art” in “Body Art”

Scarlett Johansson is an interesting young lady; she’s always walked the line between glamorous and trashy, sometimes successfully mixing the two, much to the confusion of us all. Within the same time frame, she walked the red carpet to raves about her classic Hollywood good looks, and openly admitted to having sex with Benicio Del Toro in an elevator. She also spent three years married to Ryan Reynolds, which whether you’re a woman or a man; gay, straight, or other; you have to admit seems like a good idea. The more we think about, she’s actually really awesome…except for her taste in tattoos; she seems to be lacking in that department. During a recent trip to Paris, the Avengers star got some new ink, and it’s…ummmm…it’s pretty darn horrible actually.

As you can see, the multi-millionaire got a horseshoe with an ultra classy “Lucky You” banner around it on her ribcage. We’re going to assume that she’s inferring that whoever sees her naked has gotten lucky, which is true in a real life in the flesh sense, but not so true in the grander scheme of things (in case you forgot, some nakey pictures of her spread through the web like wildfire a few months back). Either way, it’s a horrible piece of body “art”.

For starters, it looks like a third grade Indianapolis Colts fans art project, and not like a professionally done piece of work. Secondly, it’s really trashy, and not in a trendy way; in a “stripper who hangs out at airport hotels on Sunday nights” sort of way. Thirdly, it’s placement doesn’t even make the most sense, as whoever takes her clothes off would have to crane his neck sideways to see it properly. Finally, it’s so bad that we almost made the headline: “Body Art? More like body fart!”. Okay, so that last one happens every time we do any article about a bad tattoo, but still, it’s not a good sign.

Our final assesment of Scarlett Johansson’s new ink is that she must’ve done it ironically. Not to say that she doesn’t think that someone would be lucky to see her lady parts, but we think that she said: “I want to get a really trashy tattoo because I think it’s funny how rich and famous I am”. So basically this is her entry into the world of people with annoying hipster tattoos that hold zero meaning, zero sentiment or fond memory, and aren’t even funny. Hey, at least she didn’t get a Pringle’s Guy (or the “Natty Boh Guy Hon!” if you’re from Baltimore) mustache done on her finger; that makes us want to start fires.