This one is going to upset some of you folks, because it sure as heck upset us! Recent reports have surfaced claiming to have discovered Lisa Vanderpump’s hidden tattoo, but we’re not going to accept them. We’re sure by now you’ve looked at the photos on this page, taken while she was getting her nails done, and assumed that the little peanut on her ankle is the “tattoo” in question; you’re right, but we’re not going to give her any credit. The thing on the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” star’s lower leg is definitely an ink mark put into her skin by an electric needle, sure, we’ll give her that. However, that “piece” represents one of our least favorite things in the world: tattoos so small that they might as well not exist. It’s suspected that the little niblet is a heart of some sort (looks more like some kind of play on the infinity symbol to us), but whatever it is obviously isn’t important enough to take up real space. If it means a lot to her and it’s for something special, than we’re sorry if we upset her, but it’s hard for us to believe that it’s anything that important when it’s barely visible. Ink like this just screams ”I want to say I’m tattooed but don’t really want to commit to getting a real tattoo”, and we are strongly against non-committal tattoo work. The whole point of getting ink is that you’re marking yourself permanently, that you’re committing to having something on your body. So when you half-ass a tattoo, it shows us that you don’t really mean it. Look, we all have tattoos that we aren’t happy with, but they remind us of times in our life and where we came from, and if they’re bad they remind us that we’ve made mistakes. Getting a piece that small breaks our code, and we’re not happy about that. In her defense, she doesn’t actually show it off, so she’s not looking for credit, but to those who are trying to say that “she has a wild side” or a “hidden past”: drop it, that tattoo only shows that she doesn’t go big.
There’s a picture of Megan Fox (The Dictator; Transformers) with her husband Brian Austin Green (Beverly Hills 90210; the unemployment line); they both look pretty inked up, but that’s about to change. Megan has a sun on her ankle, Brian’s name on her hip, the Japanese Kanji for ‘strength’ on her neck, some kind of infinity snake-thing on her wrist, “We will all laugh at gilded butterflies” on her left shoulder blade, “There once was a little girl who never knew love until a boy broke her HEART” running down her ribs, and a portrait of Marilyn Monroe on her right forearm. Brian has…no one cares what Brian has; other than sleeping with really gorgeous women over the years, the guy hasn’t been relevant since Zubaz Pants were cool (the first time). Anyhow, citing that she didn’t like the turmoil and darkness involved in Marilyn’s life, Megan will soon be getting the portrait removed from her forearm. Brian will also be getting some tattoos removed…again, no one will care.