Tag Archives: chest

AJ McCarron’s Chest is a Mess

AJ McCarron is about as big a fish as there is in the sea of NCAA Football, and now he’s got a tattoo that’s just as big…well at least it is now. The Alabama Crimson Tide Quarterback is one of the few people in the history of the sport to lead his team to back to back national titles, and he’s also one of the few quarterbacks in college football history to have a gigantic tattoo on his chest, and much like his legacy as a quarterback, his chest piece just keeps on getting larger and larger, and more and more impressive…okay, the ink isn’t that impressive, but the legacy is awesome. So now, about that tattoo…

When it was first revealed to the public, the piece was a simple crying Jesus with the words “Bama Boy”, “Ma”, and “Pops” surrounding it; simple, but pretty friggin’ huge. It looked an awful lot like the J-man was trying to burst out of his chest Alien style. The placement is a little crazy for what we think is his first tattoo, and the art style is a little two soft for such a serious figure. We’re not the religious types around here, but we tend to think that major figures of religion should be inked in a more sharp and serious style. Regardless of our opinions on the original ink, the piece has just kept on growing, and in recent months the world got another look at it. The new additions to the work include a hanging cross, a smattering of stars and stripes, cloud etchings, the words “Home Team”, “God’s In Control”, and some Sailor Jerry-style doves. The new additions make for a pretty cool overall aesthetic  but the piece overall does not feature the best execution we’ve ever seen. It reminds us of some of the tats we got when we were younger…the one’ s we ended up being unhappy with as we got older. Not because we don’t like what the tattoos stand for anymore, but because we’re unhappy about how they turned out artistically.

AJ McCarron has a bright future ahead of him; one that should include a lot more ink, and probably a lot more bad tattoos, because if there’s one bad tattoo, there’s always going to be a second one coming down the pike. We’ll keep you posted on what he ends up with, and how long his “a cheap tattoo is a good tattoo” phase lasts.

Chris and Rihanna Go Another Round… Of Ink

Well folks, the simple truth about our business is that some days there’s just nothing to write about, and others…well other days the world of celebrity gives you a shiny nugget of amazing to write about. Today is one such day, as both Rihanna and Chris Brown have gotten new tattoos within days of each other, and they’re so amazing that we almost didn’t believe that they were real. No, not “amazingly cool” or “amazingly well done”, there’s no fun in that; nope, they’re amazingly bad! The best kind of amazing! These two both already have their fair share of ink, especially Brown, but these new tats take the cake.

First up, we have Rihanna’s tattoo, which is supposedly a tribute to her grandmother. What’s the best way to pay homage to your momma’s momma? By getting the area directly under your boobs tattooed! Duh! She got some sort of Nubian or Egyptian goddess right smack dab on her breast bone. The wings spread under her breasts, which kind of makes it look like her boobs are going to fly away at any given moment, and the goddess’ head-dress extends up into her cleavage area which should lead to some weird looking cleavage. Now this isn’t a bad tattoo in the poorly done sense, it’s actually pretty nicely, albeit simplistically, designed; it even has a similar quality to the hawk that she recently got on on her foot. However, it’s a bad tattoo in the way of “why would someone who isn’t out of space everywhere else tattoo the area directly under her breasts!?”. We hate to be the ones to drop the old “How’s that going to look when you’re older?” on someone (especially considering how bad some of our ink is), but the moment she get’s pregnant or starts losing the age-old battle with gravity, that tattoo is going to look horrible. However poorly thought out Rihanna’s new ink may be, at least it’s not horrendously offensive and terrible…Chris Brown has that angle covered for the both of them.

Before we go any further, let’s just put this out there: Chris Brown is the worst. He’s a walking, talking everthing-that’s-wrong-with-music; he’s over produced, over praised, over confident, over forgiven, and we’re over him. So with that said; let’s all guess what the worst possible tattoo a guy who once beat his girlfriend (Rihanna, for those of you who take residence under the proverbial rock) to a pulp could get. Seriously, guess; pretend you didn’t look at the header picture and guess what the worst tattoo Chris Brown could ever get is. Yes folks, that’s not Photoshop, that’s a tattoo of a beaten woman on the neck of a guy who beats women. Furthermore, your eyes aren’t decieving you, the woman in the tattoo looks an awful lot like Rihanna…like a lot like Rihanna…as in “That’s clearly a tattoo of a beaten Rihanna on Chris Brown’s neck!” like Rihanna. Brown has of course denied that the tattoo is of Rihanna, instead calling it a coincidence and saying that it’s art but not a portrait. Does he really think that we’re all that stupid? More importantly, how many people actually are that stupid? If his album and concert ticket sales are any indication, a lot of people are that stupid. This new tattoo is just another reminder that Chris Brown doesn’t respect anyone or anything, and that he has horrible taste in ink. Furthermore, whoever did this piece should hang their head. Giving him this tattoo is no different than being the guy who inks hate symbols on Neo-Nazis; seriously dude, it’s not worth the money or the publicity it brings your shop.

So there you have it folks, Chris Brown and Rihanna both got new tattoos, and they really sum up the entire situation between the two of them. Rihanna got something that was well intentioned but ultimately a bad idea, and Chris Brown got a tattoo that shows his complete lack of respect for the female species and for people as a whole…and they both look pretty dumb in the end.

 

Bieber’s New Ink

 

Ugh, here we go again. We’ve talked before about how upset we are that “Boyfriend” singer Justin Bieber keeps getting tattoos. Well, he must’ve heard us, because as if only to spite us, he’s gotten more, and the newest one is absolutely infuriating. As if to declare himself the new King of Pop, Bieber has gotten a crown inked on his chest. We know about said tattoo because he insisted on posting shirtless pictures of himself to show it off. So here’s the issue: he isn’t the king of anything yet, he’s never even won a Grammy! Weird Al has Grammys! Okay, bad example; Weird Al is awesome and deserves all the Grammys, but the point remains: the kid hasn’t earned that ink yet.

He also really needs to stop posting pictures of himself shirtless; the kid doesn’t appear to know what the word “push-up” means, so he shouldn’t be showing the world his underdeveloped psysique like it’s his job. He’s built like Shaggy from Scooby Doo and an Ostriche had a baby, so he needs to keep a shirt on. We also can’t help but think that he thinks that tattoos make him a “Bad Boy”, well they don’t Justin, we all know you’re a wimpy little kid. Tattoos are meant to represent who you are, not who you’re pretending to be. We really can’t think of a nice thing to say about his new ink except for “Yeah, that’s a crown alright”, so we’re going to stop talking now. You’ve ruined our day again Bieber, and we’re sure this won’t be the last time.