Someone always has to ruin it for the rest of us…every…freaking…time. Much like Hitler gave weird mini-mustaches a bad name when he decided to make an inept attempt to take over the world, Aaron Hernandez has probably set athletes with tattoos back a solid three decades by being a complete piece of crap. How has he set us all back? Well the act…or * ahem *…acts that he’s perpetrated to set his brother in ink back are multiple shootings, one of which was a murder. Not only did the former New England Patriot’s tight end shoot one of his former friends a while back, but he recently orchestrated one of the sloppiest and most poorly planned murders in history. So now as the heavily tattooed Hernandez awaits a trial that will almost surely produce a conviction or a lengthy plea deal, the National Football League (NFL) is reportedly considering bringing in experts to review the tattoos of incoming players (signed from the draft or as rookie free agents) to rule or confirm possible gang ties and/or criminal ties. You got it folks, just as having tattoos was becoming just another thing, this idiot has gone and turned every kid with a quick forty yard dash and some bad tribal work into a possible perp. We have to imagine that the NFL Players Association (NFLPA) will take issue with the idea, but seeing as how Hernandez reportedly is/was in his high school days a gang member who may in fact have gang tattoos on him, it’s going to be a hard point to argue. It should also be noted that experts have expressed concern that Hernandez will be a target in jail because of his possibly criminal ink, but we’re pretty sure the a dude of his size with the kind of bank account and reputation was going to be a target anyway, so his ink is kinf of a moot point. We would’ve been more surprised if no one messed with him, especially people who hate the Patriots and lack mental stability…which is a ton of people. Anyhow, once this practice becomes common in football, expect it to find its way into other leagues and sports. So if you’re trying to make a career out of being an athlete, maybe reconsider getting your block number inked on your arm, or be ready to spend a lot of cash on laser removal when the time comes to pose for that Wheaties box.
AJ McCarron is about as big a fish as there is in the sea of NCAA Football, and now he’s got a tattoo that’s just as big…well at least it is now. The Alabama Crimson Tide Quarterback is one of the few people in the history of the sport to lead his team to back to back national titles, and he’s also one of the few quarterbacks in college football history to have a gigantic tattoo on his chest, and much like his legacy as a quarterback, his chest piece just keeps on getting larger and larger, and more and more impressive…okay, the ink isn’t that impressive, but the legacy is awesome. So now, about that tattoo…
When it was first revealed to the public, the piece was a simple crying Jesus with the words “Bama Boy”, “Ma”, and “Pops” surrounding it; simple, but pretty friggin’ huge. It looked an awful lot like the J-man was trying to burst out of his chest Alien style. The placement is a little crazy for what we think is his first tattoo, and the art style is a little two soft for such a serious figure. We’re not the religious types around here, but we tend to think that major figures of religion should be inked in a more sharp and serious style. Regardless of our opinions on the original ink, the piece has just kept on growing, and in recent months the world got another look at it. The new additions to the work include a hanging cross, a smattering of stars and stripes, cloud etchings, the words “Home Team”, “God’s In Control”, and some Sailor Jerry-style doves. The new additions make for a pretty cool overall aesthetic but the piece overall does not feature the best execution we’ve ever seen. It reminds us of some of the tats we got when we were younger…the one’ s we ended up being unhappy with as we got older. Not because we don’t like what the tattoos stand for anymore, but because we’re unhappy about how they turned out artistically.
AJ McCarron has a bright future ahead of him; one that should include a lot more ink, and probably a lot more bad tattoos, because if there’s one bad tattoo, there’s always going to be a second one coming down the pike. We’ll keep you posted on what he ends up with, and how long his “a cheap tattoo is a good tattoo” phase lasts.
Talk about commitment! While most NCAA Division One football recruits show their support for their soon-to-be teams by doning a hat or a sweater, Rueben Foster is showing that he’s will to make a lifetime commitment to Auburn University. The top rated highschool linebacker in the nation, Foster recently announced his intent to attend the storied football school. And showed his dedication by getting the Auburn logo tattooed on his forearm…really big. The tattoo covers most of his gigantic forearm and shows that Foster wants nothing more than to play for his favorite college. Is it the best idea? Not really, but we kind of like it. It shows a love of the team’s tradtion, and a dedication the the squad over himself that we hope translates into a productive collegiate career and eventually some cash in the National Football League. So give ’em hell Rueben, we’re rooting for you!
Diego Maradona former superstar football/soccer player, World Cup champion and former head coach of the Argentine National team is one of the most the eccentric and charismatic figures of the sport. Going along with his personality, he has some interesting tattoos as well. To start with, he has a couple of Latin American communist all stars – Che Guevara and Fidel Castro. And he has even shown his portrait of Fidel to Fidel himself in person. He has said that he wants add a portrait of Hugo Chavez. On his left shoulder he has a dragon and on each forearm he has the name of one of his daughters – Gianinna and Dalma.
Okay, so we decided to go out and search the web to see if anyone had tattooed Ed O’Neill on themselves. Why? Simple, because Ed O’Neill is awesome; he played Al Bundy, he’s on Modern Family, he was drafter to the NFL, he’s a frickin’ Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Black Belt, and he’s been gainfully employed as an actor for almost 25 years! In short: He rules. We found a few folks who had gone out and put Ed, as Al Bundy, on their bodies, but something was wrong! Every picture we found was listed as “worst tattoo ever”, or “bad idea”; the record must be set straight: Tattooing Ed O’Neill on yourself is cool. Super cool. Al Bundy is a character that helped raise and teach multiple generations, whether he taught them how to be, or how not to be; and Ed O’Neill has been just as awesome in real life. So we hope you find this article Ed O’Neill tattoo havers, because you should know not to hang your head in shame any longer; you’re the man…now dog…or woman…now dog.