In her own words ”I know that the two is high and in H2O the two is supposed to be low.” So folks, before we go any further, let’s give “X-Men: Apocalypse” some credit for admitting that she went and got herself a bad tattoo. Her new ink is supposed to be an “H2O” in proper scientific form, and it was done super faded on purpose to represent her “watered down rebellion”. However, it came out both inaccurate and way too terrible to get the point across. We doubt that she’ll have it removed, because bad tattoos get just as much press as good tattoos; probably more. Also, she can just say it’s a birthmark.
Known in the past as a bit of a wild child, it’s no surprise that Rumer Willis has a new tattoo. What is surprising though, is that the new ink is to commemorate her win on “Dancing With The Stars”. The daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis recently visited a tattoo parlor in order to have herself inkedwith an image of a woman dancing with a celestial silhouette .
The woman in the tattoo looks an awful lot like Rumer, and the pose looks exactly like this picture…
So we’d say that it’s pretty cut and dry that Rumer had the ink done to celebrate her win on the reality show with partner Val Chmerkovskiy. There’s also the fact that she said the body art was in honor of her win. We’re a real bunch of Sherlocks around here.
Kanye West has some new tattoos, and according to her wife Kim Kardashian, they were almost in the most awesomely bad of places. On a recent trip to London, the “Yeezus” artist and hater of all things Beck and Taylor Swift related decided to pay a 4am visit to the Sang Bleu tattoo parlor for a little body art. According to Kim, Kanye wanted to have the new ink put on his face, right up by his hairline. He even had the artist stencil designs onto him before his large bottomed love convinced him to put the ink onto his wrists instead. The final products were the birthdays of his beloved mother and his baby daughter n roman numerals, and they look great. To be honest, I’m a bit disappointed that he didn’t get his face done; that would’ve been the perfect level of insanity for my tastes. Well, he’s bound to snap and get something put on his grill someday, and now that he’s got his sweet ideas out of the way, maybe he’ll get a really weird tattoo on his forehead…a man can dream folks.
Let’s add Benji Madden of “Good Charlotte” and “guy with tattoos who used to be more relevant but still has enough money to hang around fancy bars and date celebrities” fame to the list of dudes who have gotten their significant other’s name inked on them. The rocker recently got the name “Cameron” tattooed across his chest in honor of his new wife Cameron Diaz (“Annie”; “Being John Malcovich”; “Bad Teacher”), and while it’s a well done piece of body art, I’m never too huge of a fan of the idea in general.
In his defense, Madden has a ton of ink already, so even if he turns out regretting his new ink because of a divorce, at least it will just kind of blend in with the rest of his tats and make for an easy cover up. The same can’t be said for people like Dean Mcdermott, that dude has a big ole’ Tori Spelling face on his arm…for the rest of his life…forever.
So this one is a little weird. Our buddies over at www.celebrityplasticsurgery.tv report on fan surgeries all the time; this is a different idea than your standard “fan tattoo”. You see, when someone get’s a fan tattoo, it usually means that they’re having body art done in honor of someone they love; a fan surgery is usually when a fan undergoes plastic surgery in order to look more like their favorite famous face and/or body. Now this is a little weird in itself, and almost always goes way beyond the standard “I want Brooke Burke’s boobs” plastic surgery decision, but at least it’s done to look like a real person…most of the time. Some people are fans of cartoons/comics though, and that’s when these things get a little dicey. This brings us to Venezuelan citizen Henry Damon, a man who has had both fan surgery and fan tattoos done in order to look more like…The Red Skull? Yeah, he had work done and had his skin tattooed in order to look like the Nazi bad guy from “Captain America”…Before going under the knife and in front of the ink gun, Damon was actually a pretty normal, if not handsome looking man with a wife and kids…Now, according to is plastic surgeon/tattoo artist (the articles I’m reading make me think that this dude hit up a one-stop shop), Damon is still perfectly normal, because he had to pass an unnamed battery of psychological tests before going through with his procedures. Did I mention that the guy who did all of this stuff to him is a med-school dropout who specializes in extreme body modification? Yes, I’m aware that that sounds like the character description for the killer from a B-movie, but that’s who the dude is. Here’s Henry after beginning his process of Red-Skull-ification…That’s post forehead implants and eyeball tattooing, and pre-nose job; although, is it still a rhinoplasty is it’s a straight up removal?Yup, he had his nose removed. After that, he went in front of the tattoo needle again to have his skin turned red and black to better resemble ole’ Skull-dawg. He’s still a work in progress, but here he is at a tattoo convention recently…I’m not sure exactly why he’s decided to drastically change himself into the image of a hate-mongering supervillian (especially when everyone around him swears he’s a good dude), but I can tell you this much: next time someone looks at my forearms and asks me if I’m worried how they’re going to look when I get old, I’m just going to show them this dude and they’ll probably never bother me again!
In the last few years, Jessie J has established herself as one of the most talented young singers in the pop music game; with songs that are both catchy and surprisingly well crafted. However, one of her four tattoos (we’ll discuss the other ones a little later, they’re nothing to write home about) doesn’t possess the same production value as her hits “Domino” and “Bang Bang”; instead, it contains a pretty big spelling mistake. The ink in question is the rather large piece that she has on her right hip; it’s meant to be some stars and the phrase “Don’t lose yourself in the glare of star”, but there’s an extra “O” in “Lose”, making it “loose”. This is a worse spelling error than a missing letter or even a jumble, because due to something the internet has dubbed “typoglycemia” our brains are pretty good at processing minor misspellings as the intended words, but an entirely different word is written on her body, so most people would just read her ink as-is. Jessie told interview Graham Norton that she plans on having the mistake covered up in the future, but that for now she wears high waisted pants more often than not in order to conceal the mistaken body art. The writer of “Party In The USA” has some other ink too, and it’s mistake free, so that’s good. Let’s take a look at the rest of her body work…Behind her left ear she has two music notes forming a heart; she said that she had it done because she wanted a tattoo that showed she loved music. It’s not original and it’s not big, but it’s perfectly fine.She also has the words “Stand Up” with a little heart under them on her right wrist; it’s simply the name of one of her songs and probably an ideal that she believes in. She seems like the type of girl who doesn’t back down from much; judging by her strong career, I’m probably right about her. This last one is a little stick figure meditating and throwing up a peace sign. It’s meant to help her relax and is most likely placed so that she can see it when she sits cross-legged. It’s a little too simple for my tastes, but it’s a nice idea and you can’t hate on it when a tattoo has an actual purpose in the owner’s life. So despite having a major mistake on one her pieces, Jessie J’s collection of tattoos is small but nice, and they all have meaning. You can never hate on someone when they’re ink means something to them, so even though she doesn’t have the best body art I’ve ever seen, I dig it all. Good job Jessie, and good luck with the cover-up.
Next time you fall in love, you’re a few months into the relationship, and you have too much to drink one night; you’re bound to start thinking that getting his/her name tattooed on your arm or getting matching tattoos is a great idea. Your friends will tell you that this is a bad idea (it is), but thanks to the former member of Guns N’ Roses you can say “Hey, Slash did it before his divorce was even final, and if the guy who played November Rain does something, it’s got to be a great idea!”. That’s right folks, less than two months after filing for divorce for the second time from his wife of thirteen years, Slash has moved in with a former and now new girlfriend named Meegan Hodges, and the two have matching ink. Going to big time artist Todd Aarik Reich to get the work done, the legendary guitar player and Grammy Awarding winning member of both Guns N’ Roses and Velvet Revolver and his new-old girlfriend got matching coordinate tattoos before the ink was even dry on his divorce papers. The two met back in the day when Axl Rose used to date Hodges roommate, and dated for a bit before forging a friendship that has apparently lasted for about twenty years. This makes this tattoo choice that much more interesting, as he’s getting matching pieces with someone he just recently shacked up with, but he clearly has a long history with her; this makes the whole thing a lot easier to give a pass too. It’s also easier to swallow this decision because this isn’t Slash’s first time in the tattoo chair.In the past, the big time music celebrity has gotten a right triceps piece (a caricature of himself with his name under it), a left triceps piece (a skull with a top hat and some roses), a forearm piece (a female silhouette), and a right shoulder piece (some lips). That’s not a ton of ink, but it’s more than most people, and enough to show that he probably knows what he’s doing when it comes to body art. So with all of that said, we’re going to have to trust Slash on this one and assume that this new relationship is for life, because that tattoo sure as heck is!
You can’t write an article about Drake’s tattoos without mentioning two things: he was the kid from Degrassi, and a fan once inked his name on her friggin’ forehead. That’s her in the picture above, and she always needs to be mentioned, because until the day the “Started From The Bottom” rapper tattoos “That Girl Who Tattooed My Name On Her Face” on his own forehead, no body art related to Drake will ever top her tat. So now that her permanent mark of fandom and his former life as a teen actor are out of the way, let’s talk about the ink that adorns the body of the popular hip-hop act…Let’s start with his dual hometown/favorite singer tribute, the “416” on his side. The ink not only represents the area code of his hometown of Toronto, Ontario Canada, it also is shaded so as to represent “116”, the birthday (January 16th) of late singer Aaliyah, whose work Drake is an admittedly huge fan of. She also appears on his back piece, but we’ll get to that a little later. The rib work is actually very well done, and has a nice little meaning to it, it huge too, unlike his arm work…Next up we have the little piece of ink that sits on the inside of his right arm, which was apparently his first. The tat says “All Kinds”, which seems to be short for “It takes all kinds.”, a cliched statement that Drake and his buddies apparently use pretty often. There’s nothing wrong with the ink, it’s just kind of small and makes us worry that Drake thinks he made that phrase up. Anyhow, back to the back…Yup, that’s Drake’s back, which appears to have a portrait of Aaliyah (he intends to release an album with the deceased icon through the magic of music production at some point), a portrait of his mom, a portrait of his late uncle, a portrait of his grandma, a dove, and an owl that looks like the robot from the original “Clash Of The Titans”. It’s all nicely done work, and all of it means a lot to the “Best I Ever Had” singer, so we’re cool with his back piece(s)…well all of them except…That looks a lot more like the old Tommy Hilfiger logo than anything representing Houston (that’s what it’s supposed to be), but it takes all kinds, right?Speaking of all kinds, Drake’s father has spent a good portion of the Canadian star’s life in and out of prison, so as a tribute to a man he has an admittedly strained relationship with, he has a mini-portrait of his dad’s mugshot on his arm. It’s actually a cool little piece and it’s always nice to see people bonding through ink, so we’re like it, we don’t like his most recent tattoo though…Look, we have no problem with the little blurb, we have a small problem with someone referring to themselves as “6 God” (that’s what the “6” represents), and we have a big problem with someone representing something as complex as their religious views with a friggin’ Emoji. Yeah, that’s what that is, and we don’t like it, but again, it takes all kinds…is that joke dead yet? Anyhow, Drake’s overall body of tattoo work is pretty solid, so we give him props for most of his art and the meanings behind it, but this last one makes us question his decision making process, so we wouldn’t be surprised is someday his face tattoo is the first thing we talk about when we reference him. Time will tell is he ever surpasses his fan’s face tat, but until then…it takes all kinds! Yeah! One more for the road!
So Jwoww is still a thing we’re still talking about in 2014? Yeah? Okay cool, just making sure because I already laid out the pictures and did the “research” for this article, so it would be a shame if I found out now that we’re not talking about the cast of “Jersey Shore” anymore. With that said, let’s talk about Jenni Farley’s new ink, because unlike a lot of the decisions that we’ve seen her make over the years, this one seems to be a good one…at least in my eyes. The new tattoo that is adorning the reality stars upper back/shoulder blade is one of the best kind: a dedication to her child. The tattoo, which is the “Snooki & Jwoww” star’s daughter Meilani Alexandra’s name surrounding her foot prints is your standard baby dedication fare, but it’s definitely well done. The intention is obviously great too, as it commemorates the existence of someone who will always be important to her; this isn’t a “I Heart Wanda” kind of dedication that may be regretted someday, this is her first child! As the title of the article suggests, the new ink is done to match the piece done on her future husband Roger Mathew’s ribs, and both pieces really do look nice. This isn’t the first tattoo for either Jenni or Roger, as both have gotten pretty extensive ink done in the past. Roger is basically covered, with two sleeves and a huge back piece, as well as the gun he has inked on his hip, while Jenni has a large cross on her shoulder and a big ole’ tiger on her hip. The tattooed couple seems to be staying in shape as they enter their thirties, so their ink should age pretty well and they will most likely continue to have tats done well into their futures. I love making fun of the cast of that horrid cesspool of a show, but this isn’t a time when I have that opportunity, because Jenni and Roger’s new ink id more than okay in my book, and I have nothing but congratulations for them on the birth of their baby girl!
Celebrities love to stick out, it’s why they go out and get famous in the first place: they have a desire to stand out in the crowd. However, for some celebrities it’s not enough to just be famous, they have to be famous and weird at the same time. That’s like trying to be the biggest elephant; you’re already bigger than the other animals, now you want to be the biggest of the big! Elephant talk aside, some celebrities like to get tattooed with some weird stuff; whether it’s because they want to be even more notable, or because they just feel like being strange. Take “Jackass” star and legendary stuntman Steve-O, who got his own autographed photo inked on his back as a stunt for one of his movies. The tattoo is actually really well done, but it’s still extremely weird and completely crazy. Tattooing a face on yourself might not be as weird as getting yourself a face tattoo though…Yup, Gucci Mane has an ice cream cone tattooed on his face in honor of his song “Icy”…that’s pretty much an act of insanity. He’s known for being a bit of a loose cannon, he’s been to jail multiple times, and a face tattoo is a classic sign of an impulsive person. He doesn’t seem to regret his facial ink though, and that’s awesome for him, because tattoos are forever, so are childhood loves of literature…Ryan Gosling (“Drive”) has the cover of the book “The Giving Tree” on his left shoulder and it’s a pretty strange tattoo with an explanation that’s…uhhhh…off. He says that he got the tattoo because his mom used to read the Shel Silverstein classic to him when he was a child, but that he thinks the book is messed up and he would never want to be the Giving Tree because the boy uses him up until he’s a stump. Speaking of “stump”, we’re stumped in regards to the reasoning behind this tattoo…Yup, that’s a really bad tattoo of Ryan Gosling’s face, and it’s on “On The Way Down” singer Ryan Cabrera’s leg. It was allegedly chosen by his friends after losing a bet, and it’s pretty terrible, and actually looks a lot more like Ryan Reynolds. Speaking of Ryan Reynolds…just kidding, he wouldn’t get a weird tattoo, but we all know that Miley Cyrus would…Okay, the tattoo is of her dog, who passed a way a while back, so we can’t argue with the sentiment, but the tattoo itself is a bit whacky looking. Maybe she could’ve just gotten a normal picture of the ole’ boy. Weird or not, we will never not like a dog-lover’s dog tribute. We don’t like ice cream lovers’ tributes though…“Stay With Me” singer Sam Smith has this ice cream cone inked on his leg, and we don’t like it…that’s really all that we have to say about that. Let’s do one more picture for a pallet cleanser…Celebrities even like to stick out when they already stick out, Lady Gaga’s showing off her unicorn tattoo in the above picture to prove it. At the end of the day we’re just having fun folks, and anything that someone, famous or not, wants to ink on their body is their business. It’s just our business to give them crap about it…especially that ice cream cone on Sam Smith, that thing really bothers us for some reason.