Tag Archives: Inked

Chris and Rihanna Go Another Round… Of Ink

Well folks, the simple truth about our business is that some days there’s just nothing to write about, and others…well other days the world of celebrity gives you a shiny nugget of amazing to write about. Today is one such day, as both Rihanna and Chris Brown have gotten new tattoos within days of each other, and they’re so amazing that we almost didn’t believe that they were real. No, not “amazingly cool” or “amazingly well done”, there’s no fun in that; nope, they’re amazingly bad! The best kind of amazing! These two both already have their fair share of ink, especially Brown, but these new tats take the cake.

First up, we have Rihanna’s tattoo, which is supposedly a tribute to her grandmother. What’s the best way to pay homage to your momma’s momma? By getting the area directly under your boobs tattooed! Duh! She got some sort of Nubian or Egyptian goddess right smack dab on her breast bone. The wings spread under her breasts, which kind of makes it look like her boobs are going to fly away at any given moment, and the goddess’ head-dress extends up into her cleavage area which should lead to some weird looking cleavage. Now this isn’t a bad tattoo in the poorly done sense, it’s actually pretty nicely, albeit simplistically, designed; it even has a similar quality to the hawk that she recently got on on her foot. However, it’s a bad tattoo in the way of “why would someone who isn’t out of space everywhere else tattoo the area directly under her breasts!?”. We hate to be the ones to drop the old “How’s that going to look when you’re older?” on someone (especially considering how bad some of our ink is), but the moment she get’s pregnant or starts losing the age-old battle with gravity, that tattoo is going to look horrible. However poorly thought out Rihanna’s new ink may be, at least it’s not horrendously offensive and terrible…Chris Brown has that angle covered for the both of them.

Before we go any further, let’s just put this out there: Chris Brown is the worst. He’s a walking, talking everthing-that’s-wrong-with-music; he’s over produced, over praised, over confident, over forgiven, and we’re over him. So with that said; let’s all guess what the worst possible tattoo a guy who once beat his girlfriend (Rihanna, for those of you who take residence under the proverbial rock) to a pulp could get. Seriously, guess; pretend you didn’t look at the header picture and guess what the worst tattoo Chris Brown could ever get is. Yes folks, that’s not Photoshop, that’s a tattoo of a beaten woman on the neck of a guy who beats women. Furthermore, your eyes aren’t decieving you, the woman in the tattoo looks an awful lot like Rihanna…like a lot like Rihanna…as in “That’s clearly a tattoo of a beaten Rihanna on Chris Brown’s neck!” like Rihanna. Brown has of course denied that the tattoo is of Rihanna, instead calling it a coincidence and saying that it’s art but not a portrait. Does he really think that we’re all that stupid? More importantly, how many people actually are that stupid? If his album and concert ticket sales are any indication, a lot of people are that stupid. This new tattoo is just another reminder that Chris Brown doesn’t respect anyone or anything, and that he has horrible taste in ink. Furthermore, whoever did this piece should hang their head. Giving him this tattoo is no different than being the guy who inks hate symbols on Neo-Nazis; seriously dude, it’s not worth the money or the publicity it brings your shop.

So there you have it folks, Chris Brown and Rihanna both got new tattoos, and they really sum up the entire situation between the two of them. Rihanna got something that was well intentioned but ultimately a bad idea, and Chris Brown got a tattoo that shows his complete lack of respect for the female species and for people as a whole…and they both look pretty dumb in the end.

 

Superfan Gets Tooth Tattoo – Can’t Decide Between Saving Wife or Shortstop

This is just ridiculous. Look, we respect the concept of loving a team so much that you get their logo tattooed on yourself; we dont’t neccesarily agree with it, but we get it. However, this dude having a New York Yankees’ logo inked on his tooth is both ridiculous and mildy insane. In his defense, the idea wasn’t his; he was under anesthetic when his dentist buddy decided to give him the gift of tooth-tat. However, he didn’t immediatedly slap the snot out of his boy, and instead thanked him and claims that he loves the tooth-ink. We’re really not sold on this guy, it just seems like a dumb place to get tattooed, and there’s no way that it’s going to hold in the long term. Whatever, to each his own.

When asked if he would save the life of his wife or Derek Jeter were both of them drowning, this guy couldn't decide. Who can blame him? Even Elmo loves Jeter.

Heidi Klum’s Tattoo Is Half Invalid Now

Whoops, looks like Heidi Klum has made the most classic of tattoo mistakes; she went and got her significant others name inked on her…and then they split up. The Project Runway (not “Project Runaway”, that’s a far more depressing show) host was married to “Kiss From A Rose” singer Seal for years and seemed to have the best marriage ever. Their marraige was so good that she decided to get his name inked on her forearm. The tattoo also included the initials of their kids, which makes the ink only half a waste now that the two of them aren’t together anymore. As of this writing, the two haven’t officially divorced, so theirs still a chance that they’ll reconcile and make the tattoo not really stupid. On the bright side, if they don’t get back together, Heidi can probably use the change between her couch cushions to pay for the removal procedure.

Bad Fan Tattoo Of The Day :The ESPN Guy

What. Is. He. Thinking? Yes folks, that’s a real tattoo of the ESPN logo on someone’s face. Hoping it would get him enough attention that he’d make it on to ESPN’s Sportscenter, this severely mislead young man decided that he would get the network tattooed on the side of his face above his eyebrow. This is easily one of the worst ideas in the history of bad ideas. It’s a corporate logo for a corporation that he doesn’t work for that covers sports and he’s not an athlete. We could understand if an up and coming NFL player got ESPN inked on him as a reminder to his opponents that he will make highlights out them, but this is just a normal guy who now will conjure images of Chris Berman wherever he goes. We’d love to support this kind of stupidity, but we can’t think a reason why we would. You’ve failed my friend, no top ten plays, no WebGem, no Espy, just a stupid tattoo.