Someone always has to ruin it for the rest of us…every…freaking…time. Much like Hitler gave weird mini-mustaches a bad name when he decided to make an inept attempt to take over the world, Aaron Hernandez has probably set athletes with tattoos back a solid three decades by being a complete piece of crap. How has he set us all back? Well the act…or * ahem *…acts that he’s perpetrated to set his brother in ink back are multiple shootings, one of which was a murder. Not only did the former New England Patriot’s tight end shoot one of his former friends a while back, but he recently orchestrated one of the sloppiest and most poorly planned murders in history. So now as the heavily tattooed Hernandez awaits a trial that will almost surely produce a conviction or a lengthy plea deal, the National Football League (NFL) is reportedly considering bringing in experts to review the tattoos of incoming players (signed from the draft or as rookie free agents) to rule or confirm possible gang ties and/or criminal ties. You got it folks, just as having tattoos was becoming just another thing, this idiot has gone and turned every kid with a quick forty yard dash and some bad tribal work into a possible perp. We have to imagine that the NFL Players Association (NFLPA) will take issue with the idea, but seeing as how Hernandez reportedly is/was in his high school days a gang member who may in fact have gang tattoos on him, it’s going to be a hard point to argue. It should also be noted that experts have expressed concern that Hernandez will be a target in jail because of his possibly criminal ink, but we’re pretty sure the a dude of his size with the kind of bank account and reputation was going to be a target anyway, so his ink is kinf of a moot point. We would’ve been more surprised if no one messed with him, especially people who hate the Patriots and lack mental stability…which is a ton of people. Anyhow, once this practice becomes common in football, expect it to find its way into other leagues and sports. So if you’re trying to make a career out of being an athlete, maybe reconsider getting your block number inked on your arm, or be ready to spend a lot of cash on laser removal when the time comes to pose for that Wheaties box.
AJ McCarron is about as big a fish as there is in the sea of NCAA Football, and now he’s got a tattoo that’s just as big…well at least it is now. The Alabama Crimson Tide Quarterback is one of the few people in the history of the sport to lead his team to back to back national titles, and he’s also one of the few quarterbacks in college football history to have a gigantic tattoo on his chest, and much like his legacy as a quarterback, his chest piece just keeps on getting larger and larger, and more and more impressive…okay, the ink isn’t that impressive, but the legacy is awesome. So now, about that tattoo…
When it was first revealed to the public, the piece was a simple crying Jesus with the words “Bama Boy”, “Ma”, and “Pops” surrounding it; simple, but pretty friggin’ huge. It looked an awful lot like the J-man was trying to burst out of his chest Alien style. The placement is a little crazy for what we think is his first tattoo, and the art style is a little two soft for such a serious figure. We’re not the religious types around here, but we tend to think that major figures of religion should be inked in a more sharp and serious style. Regardless of our opinions on the original ink, the piece has just kept on growing, and in recent months the world got another look at it. The new additions to the work include a hanging cross, a smattering of stars and stripes, cloud etchings, the words “Home Team”, “God’s In Control”, and some Sailor Jerry-style doves. The new additions make for a pretty cool overall aesthetic but the piece overall does not feature the best execution we’ve ever seen. It reminds us of some of the tats we got when we were younger…the one’ s we ended up being unhappy with as we got older. Not because we don’t like what the tattoos stand for anymore, but because we’re unhappy about how they turned out artistically.
AJ McCarron has a bright future ahead of him; one that should include a lot more ink, and probably a lot more bad tattoos, because if there’s one bad tattoo, there’s always going to be a second one coming down the pike. We’ll keep you posted on what he ends up with, and how long his “a cheap tattoo is a good tattoo” phase lasts.
What. Is. He. Thinking? Yes folks, that’s a real tattoo of the ESPN logo on someone’s face. Hoping it would get him enough attention that he’d make it on to ESPN’s Sportscenter, this severely mislead young man decided that he would get the network tattooed on the side of his face above his eyebrow. This is easily one of the worst ideas in the history of bad ideas. It’s a corporate logo for a corporation that he doesn’t work for that covers sports and he’s not an athlete. We could understand if an up and coming NFL player got ESPN inked on him as a reminder to his opponents that he will make highlights out them, but this is just a normal guy who now will conjure images of Chris Berman wherever he goes. We’d love to support this kind of stupidity, but we can’t think a reason why we would. You’ve failed my friend, no top ten plays, no WebGem, no Espy, just a stupid tattoo.
The National Football League’s (NFL) Rex Ryan is a lot of things; a solid coach, a great motivator, an outspoken defender of his players, and a rather large man with a booming voice; but if there’s one thing he’s not, it’s subtle. So when reporters asked him what his big calf tattoo meant, the New York Jets’ Head Coach responded, “A new ‘tat’ means believe in yourself, which I’ve got no problem doing”, and when asked what exactly it was, he said, “It’s a mountain, some waves and some sharks”. To us, it just looks kind of like a random Hawaiian design (he got it while on vacation in the islands), like something he just got because he already has tattoos (we have no clue what or…*shutter*…where on his body they are), he was there, and he likes attention; like the grown man equivalent of a teenage girl from Wyoming getting cornrows while in Jamaica. Anyhow, he says that his players like it, and that he and his wife like it, so whatever, more power to him…at least it’s not a skull, that wouldn’t look right on him.