In the last few years, Jessie J has established herself as one of the most talented young singers in the pop music game; with songs that are both catchy and surprisingly well crafted. However, one of her four tattoos (we’ll discuss the other ones a little later, they’re nothing to write home about) doesn’t possess the same production value as her hits “Domino” and “Bang Bang”; instead, it contains a pretty big spelling mistake. The ink in question is the rather large piece that she has on her right hip; it’s meant to be some stars and the phrase “Don’t lose yourself in the glare of star”, but there’s an extra “O” in “Lose”, making it “loose”. This is a worse spelling error than a missing letter or even a jumble, because due to something the internet has dubbed “typoglycemia” our brains are pretty good at processing minor misspellings as the intended words, but an entirely different word is written on her body, so most people would just read her ink as-is. Jessie told interview Graham Norton that she plans on having the mistake covered up in the future, but that for now she wears high waisted pants more often than not in order to conceal the mistaken body art. The writer of “Party In The USA” has some other ink too, and it’s mistake free, so that’s good. Let’s take a look at the rest of her body work…Behind her left ear she has two music notes forming a heart; she said that she had it done because she wanted a tattoo that showed she loved music. It’s not original and it’s not big, but it’s perfectly fine.She also has the words “Stand Up” with a little heart under them on her right wrist; it’s simply the name of one of her songs and probably an ideal that she believes in. She seems like the type of girl who doesn’t back down from much; judging by her strong career, I’m probably right about her. This last one is a little stick figure meditating and throwing up a peace sign. It’s meant to help her relax and is most likely placed so that she can see it when she sits cross-legged. It’s a little too simple for my tastes, but it’s a nice idea and you can’t hate on it when a tattoo has an actual purpose in the owner’s life. So despite having a major mistake on one her pieces, Jessie J’s collection of tattoos is small but nice, and they all have meaning. You can never hate on someone when they’re ink means something to them, so even though she doesn’t have the best body art I’ve ever seen, I dig it all. Good job Jessie, and good luck with the cover-up.
Next time you fall in love, you’re a few months into the relationship, and you have too much to drink one night; you’re bound to start thinking that getting his/her name tattooed on your arm or getting matching tattoos is a great idea. Your friends will tell you that this is a bad idea (it is), but thanks to the former member of Guns N’ Roses you can say “Hey, Slash did it before his divorce was even final, and if the guy who played November Rain does something, it’s got to be a great idea!”. That’s right folks, less than two months after filing for divorce for the second time from his wife of thirteen years, Slash has moved in with a former and now new girlfriend named Meegan Hodges, and the two have matching ink. Going to big time artist Todd Aarik Reich to get the work done, the legendary guitar player and Grammy Awarding winning member of both Guns N’ Roses and Velvet Revolver and his new-old girlfriend got matching coordinate tattoos before the ink was even dry on his divorce papers. The two met back in the day when Axl Rose used to date Hodges roommate, and dated for a bit before forging a friendship that has apparently lasted for about twenty years. This makes this tattoo choice that much more interesting, as he’s getting matching pieces with someone he just recently shacked up with, but he clearly has a long history with her; this makes the whole thing a lot easier to give a pass too. It’s also easier to swallow this decision because this isn’t Slash’s first time in the tattoo chair.In the past, the big time music celebrity has gotten a right triceps piece (a caricature of himself with his name under it), a left triceps piece (a skull with a top hat and some roses), a forearm piece (a female silhouette), and a right shoulder piece (some lips). That’s not a ton of ink, but it’s more than most people, and enough to show that he probably knows what he’s doing when it comes to body art. So with all of that said, we’re going to have to trust Slash on this one and assume that this new relationship is for life, because that tattoo sure as heck is!
You can’t write an article about Drake’s tattoos without mentioning two things: he was the kid from Degrassi, and a fan once inked his name on her friggin’ forehead. That’s her in the picture above, and she always needs to be mentioned, because until the day the “Started From The Bottom” rapper tattoos “That Girl Who Tattooed My Name On Her Face” on his own forehead, no body art related to Drake will ever top her tat. So now that her permanent mark of fandom and his former life as a teen actor are out of the way, let’s talk about the ink that adorns the body of the popular hip-hop act…Let’s start with his dual hometown/favorite singer tribute, the “416” on his side. The ink not only represents the area code of his hometown of Toronto, Ontario Canada, it also is shaded so as to represent “116”, the birthday (January 16th) of late singer Aaliyah, whose work Drake is an admittedly huge fan of. She also appears on his back piece, but we’ll get to that a little later. The rib work is actually very well done, and has a nice little meaning to it, it huge too, unlike his arm work…Next up we have the little piece of ink that sits on the inside of his right arm, which was apparently his first. The tat says “All Kinds”, which seems to be short for “It takes all kinds.”, a cliched statement that Drake and his buddies apparently use pretty often. There’s nothing wrong with the ink, it’s just kind of small and makes us worry that Drake thinks he made that phrase up. Anyhow, back to the back…Yup, that’s Drake’s back, which appears to have a portrait of Aaliyah (he intends to release an album with the deceased icon through the magic of music production at some point), a portrait of his mom, a portrait of his late uncle, a portrait of his grandma, a dove, and an owl that looks like the robot from the original “Clash Of The Titans”. It’s all nicely done work, and all of it means a lot to the “Best I Ever Had” singer, so we’re cool with his back piece(s)…well all of them except…That looks a lot more like the old Tommy Hilfiger logo than anything representing Houston (that’s what it’s supposed to be), but it takes all kinds, right?Speaking of all kinds, Drake’s father has spent a good portion of the Canadian star’s life in and out of prison, so as a tribute to a man he has an admittedly strained relationship with, he has a mini-portrait of his dad’s mugshot on his arm. It’s actually a cool little piece and it’s always nice to see people bonding through ink, so we’re like it, we don’t like his most recent tattoo though…Look, we have no problem with the little blurb, we have a small problem with someone referring to themselves as “6 God” (that’s what the “6” represents), and we have a big problem with someone representing something as complex as their religious views with a friggin’ Emoji. Yeah, that’s what that is, and we don’t like it, but again, it takes all kinds…is that joke dead yet? Anyhow, Drake’s overall body of tattoo work is pretty solid, so we give him props for most of his art and the meanings behind it, but this last one makes us question his decision making process, so we wouldn’t be surprised is someday his face tattoo is the first thing we talk about when we reference him. Time will tell is he ever surpasses his fan’s face tat, but until then…it takes all kinds! Yeah! One more for the road!
So Jwoww is still a thing we’re still talking about in 2014? Yeah? Okay cool, just making sure because I already laid out the pictures and did the “research” for this article, so it would be a shame if I found out now that we’re not talking about the cast of “Jersey Shore” anymore. With that said, let’s talk about Jenni Farley’s new ink, because unlike a lot of the decisions that we’ve seen her make over the years, this one seems to be a good one…at least in my eyes. The new tattoo that is adorning the reality stars upper back/shoulder blade is one of the best kind: a dedication to her child. The tattoo, which is the “Snooki & Jwoww” star’s daughter Meilani Alexandra’s name surrounding her foot prints is your standard baby dedication fare, but it’s definitely well done. The intention is obviously great too, as it commemorates the existence of someone who will always be important to her; this isn’t a “I Heart Wanda” kind of dedication that may be regretted someday, this is her first child! As the title of the article suggests, the new ink is done to match the piece done on her future husband Roger Mathew’s ribs, and both pieces really do look nice. This isn’t the first tattoo for either Jenni or Roger, as both have gotten pretty extensive ink done in the past. Roger is basically covered, with two sleeves and a huge back piece, as well as the gun he has inked on his hip, while Jenni has a large cross on her shoulder and a big ole’ tiger on her hip. The tattooed couple seems to be staying in shape as they enter their thirties, so their ink should age pretty well and they will most likely continue to have tats done well into their futures. I love making fun of the cast of that horrid cesspool of a show, but this isn’t a time when I have that opportunity, because Jenni and Roger’s new ink id more than okay in my book, and I have nothing but congratulations for them on the birth of their baby girl!
Celebrities love to stick out, it’s why they go out and get famous in the first place: they have a desire to stand out in the crowd. However, for some celebrities it’s not enough to just be famous, they have to be famous and weird at the same time. That’s like trying to be the biggest elephant; you’re already bigger than the other animals, now you want to be the biggest of the big! Elephant talk aside, some celebrities like to get tattooed with some weird stuff; whether it’s because they want to be even more notable, or because they just feel like being strange. Take “Jackass” star and legendary stuntman Steve-O, who got his own autographed photo inked on his back as a stunt for one of his movies. The tattoo is actually really well done, but it’s still extremely weird and completely crazy. Tattooing a face on yourself might not be as weird as getting yourself a face tattoo though…Yup, Gucci Mane has an ice cream cone tattooed on his face in honor of his song “Icy”…that’s pretty much an act of insanity. He’s known for being a bit of a loose cannon, he’s been to jail multiple times, and a face tattoo is a classic sign of an impulsive person. He doesn’t seem to regret his facial ink though, and that’s awesome for him, because tattoos are forever, so are childhood loves of literature…Ryan Gosling (“Drive”) has the cover of the book “The Giving Tree” on his left shoulder and it’s a pretty strange tattoo with an explanation that’s…uhhhh…off. He says that he got the tattoo because his mom used to read the Shel Silverstein classic to him when he was a child, but that he thinks the book is messed up and he would never want to be the Giving Tree because the boy uses him up until he’s a stump. Speaking of “stump”, we’re stumped in regards to the reasoning behind this tattoo…Yup, that’s a really bad tattoo of Ryan Gosling’s face, and it’s on “On The Way Down” singer Ryan Cabrera’s leg. It was allegedly chosen by his friends after losing a bet, and it’s pretty terrible, and actually looks a lot more like Ryan Reynolds. Speaking of Ryan Reynolds…just kidding, he wouldn’t get a weird tattoo, but we all know that Miley Cyrus would…Okay, the tattoo is of her dog, who passed a way a while back, so we can’t argue with the sentiment, but the tattoo itself is a bit whacky looking. Maybe she could’ve just gotten a normal picture of the ole’ boy. Weird or not, we will never not like a dog-lover’s dog tribute. We don’t like ice cream lovers’ tributes though…“Stay With Me” singer Sam Smith has this ice cream cone inked on his leg, and we don’t like it…that’s really all that we have to say about that. Let’s do one more picture for a pallet cleanser…Celebrities even like to stick out when they already stick out, Lady Gaga’s showing off her unicorn tattoo in the above picture to prove it. At the end of the day we’re just having fun folks, and anything that someone, famous or not, wants to ink on their body is their business. It’s just our business to give them crap about it…especially that ice cream cone on Sam Smith, that thing really bothers us for some reason.
It’s been a celebrity tattoo removal kind of time around here folks. We recently told you about Adrienne Baillon’s decision to get her Rob Kardashian butt tattoo taken off with a new laser treatment, and now we’ve another female celebrity who wants nothing to do with having her exe’s name inked on her body. This time it’s a little more weird though, also this time it’s someone who probably didn’t instantly regret her body art; it’s Melanie Griffith. The “Automata” star recently divorced her husband of fifteen years, Antonio Banderas, and she’s decided that she no longer wants his name to be prominently displayed on her arm. We imagine that when she initially got the tattoo done, she thought it was a great idea, their marriage was strong for a really long time, but unfortunately she was wrong and now her symbol of love is a symbol of failure. We still didn’t get to the weird part though…Mel’s removal of her heart with “Antonio” in the center tattoo seems to be off to a good start, as the laser procedure has already made his name almost, if not totally, invisible. However, she’s decided that the best way to cover-up her laser site is with a bandage with her name on it…yeah, it says “Mel”. She’s got it positioned in such a way as if to replace his name with hers; we guess that this is some sort of “love yourself before you love others” type of statement, but since she’s not a teenager, it makes her look kind of crazy. It’s very possible that she’s leaving the rest of the heart and plans on getting her kids names or initials inside of it, but if she’s thinking about getting her own name put in there…she needs to reconsider. Getting your own name put on your body is always a suspect tattoo decision, but getting it inside of a heart? That’s just plain strange.Melanie Griffith is a really talented lady, and we’re really upset for her that her marriage didn’t work out. However, seeing as how she already has way too much plastic surgery, permanently scarring her body with a bad tattoo is not the way to cope with the big changes in her life. We understand having the laser removal, but she needs to be careful with her next step. We hope that she’s just having a momentary lapse into scorned woman territory, because she’s too mature and too much of a celebrity to be making avoidable mistake in her tattoo design. Be strong Mel, bad ink is never the answer!
That guy seems nice…and terrifying. So fair readers, if you’re anything like our friend in the picture above, you may find yourself in jail someday. It may be for just a night, it may be for just a month, or it may be for a long enough time that you’re going to have to learn the ropes and know what to look out for as you spend life inside of a cell-block. One thing that might help is knowing which groups rock which tattoos. Like the guy above, he’s inked with a “14” tattoo that represents the “14 Words” of white nationalist David Lane, an “88” that represents an 88 word passage from Hitler’s “Mein Kampf”, and Norse interlocking triangles that represent dying in battle. These different tats add up to this guy being a Neo-Nazi ready to throw down for what he believes. So look out for this guy, and look out for these different tattoos in prison…The above ink represents “Surenos” (accent mark on the “n”) with the “Sur” and the letter “M” for Mexico with the number 13. They’re a Southern California gang with roots in the Mexican Mafia, so don’t mess with them. They might mess with these guys though… The Aryan Brotherhood like to get Shamrock tattoos and love to get “AB”s for “12”s to represent the first and second letters of the alphabet. They also like “666” tattoos, but really, who doesn’t…Well, guys with “EWMN” tattoos on their knuckles don’t need to get the mark of the beast, because they’re ink stands for “Evil, Wicked, Mean, Nasty”. Speaking of nasty, check out this bad Larry…These two “m”s stand for Mexican Mafia, or La Eme. These guys are one of the most highly organized and powerful groups in the American prison system, and they will mess you up. These guys will also mess you up…Yup, that’s an MS-13 tattoo, and it represents Mara Salvatrucha, one of the most violent and ruthless gangs in the entire Western hemisphere. Members of this gang also often have intricate face ink, so if you see a ton of face tats, look the other way…just don’t look at these guys…The Nazi Lowriders sport these symbols, and these white supremacists are not to be messed with. Neither are the Nortenos (accent on the “n” again folks)…The sombrero on this tattoo shows their allegiance to the Nuestra Familia, the group that controls this powerful gang. This whole article is scaring us at this point, so let’s rap it up with something cute…or this terrifying this that you will often see on a white supremacist, that’s cool too.We hope that if you ever find yourself behind bars, you remember what you saw in this article and stay away from pretty much everyone. Tattoos, whether on a gang member or on a father of three, show dedication to an idea, and if that idea is something violent, inking it on yourself guarantees that you are serious business. Stay out of jail folks, it’s rough in there.
Celebrities love to get ink, that’s a fact, but sometimes they get it in slightly abnormal places, like Zac Efron here. The “Neighbors” star went out and got “YOLO” (You Only Live Once) tattooed on the side of his of his hand, which is a weird place for multiple reasons, not the least of which is how easy it is to wear off ink from that spot. He’s got nothing on Miley Cyrus though…The girl behind “Wrecking Ball” and the master of all that is bad twerking, the former Hannah Montana got “Rolling” and “$tone” inked on her feet. Why is this weird? Because she decided to get them put on the bottom of her hooves instead of the top…so the tattoos had zero chance of ever settling in for the long haul. Want to talk about “settling in for the long haul”? Mike Tyson knows all about that type of commitment, because he got the most committed of all tats…There it is folks, one of the most whacky of all the whacky tattoos in celebrity history. The former boxing world champion and star of “The Hangover” inked a nice looking tribal on his friggin’ eye socket a few years back because we guess he just wanted to show how committed her was to never having a desk job. Strangely enough, he actually wears the placement well. We’ll shut up about his ink choice now though, because we still fear him, and because Lily Allen says so…Lily Allen wants to us to “shhh…”, that’s why she inked it on her index finger. The ellipse at the end of it implies that she’s shushing for a really long time after the initial impact. She must really mean it, unlike K-Stew…“Twilight Saga” star Kristen Stewart got an infinity symbol inked on her wrist to represent her infinite feelings of…uhhhhh…something, but she got it so small that we doubt she really means it. Kesha means it though, just take a look.Okay so Kesha annoys us overall, but we got to respect her commitment and her message, way to show em’ who’s boss dollar sign lady! Speaking of being a boss…That’s a pretty out there tat for the “Amazing Spiderman 2” star, but he’s Jamie Foxx, he can do whatever he wants. The “Horrible Bosses 2” star has won an Academy Award and played Django, he can get as many crazy head tattoos as he wants. He’s a true king of Hollywood, so we respect his crown tattoo.Speaking of kings, Cara Delivingne has the King of the Jungle tattooed on her pointer finger, and it’s a really nice piece. Seriously, whoever did that bad boy was on point, because it looks like the lion is going to jump right off of her finger. She’s a weird girl, but she knows how to pick an artist, and she also must know how to pick her nose…in style. We’re finishing this list with Bryan Cranston, because he’s awesome. He had the logo for his all time great show “Breaking Bad” inked inside of his finger, and even though it’s a standard “I don’t want a real tattoo” tattoo, he did it to match his buddies from the show, and he placed it in a weird spot, so we’re cool with it. Is it the weirdest celebrity ink? No. Are any of these? No. But their placement is just a little bit strange to us, and we love making lists, so we hope you enjoyed it. See you next time you tattoo fiends!
We must finally be getting old, because Ariana Grande is way more famous than we thought that she was. Really folks, did you know that she starred in not only “Victorious” but also “Sam & Cat”? No? Well if you’re a teenage girl, then you should have already been armed with that knowledge; if you’re not, then you know her as that girl who sings that song that you like. Grande is the voice behind “The Way” and “Problem”, those songs that are on the radio basically all of the time. The Nickelodeon channel product is a big deal these days, and like all young big deals these days, she’s got herself a few tattoos.
Her first piece of ink was the tiny heart (like her song “Tattooed Heart”) that she got on her toe back in April of 2012. She was in the process of recording her debut album “Yours Truly” and she got it to commemorate that time in her life. She had it done while she was sitting in the studio and it’s a very typical first tattoo for a young girl: tiny, simple, and not even shaded. It’s very much the kind of tatt that someone gets just to be able to say that they have ink. She followed that up two years later when she had Romeo Lacoste from the show “Best Ink”do some work on the back of her neck. No one really knows what it says for sure, but most people agree that it says “Mille Tendresse.” which is French for “a thousand tendernesses” (it’s from the movie “Breakfast At Tiffany’s”). Again, it’s very simple, but it’s a nice little message and looks cute on her. The same day that she got her neck done she also had a little piece put on her side to honor her grandfather. The simple piece is just the Italian word for “beautiful”, which is of course “Bellissima”.
Ariana Grande doesn’t have a ton of ink as of yet, but to be honest, we don’t see her getting too much more. A lot of times, when someone gets three tattoos in just a couple of years, they end up covered later in life. However, when the pieces are so tiny and simple, and when they’re on a someone who isn’t even mildly alternative, they’re almost never the start of an addiction. We’d be really surprised if we ended up writing too much more about this particular pop princess.
Let’s start things with some truth folks: No matter how tough, or deep, or angry you say you are, you’re not the first person to ever get a tattoo. No folks, despite what some angsty twenty-somethings will tell you, tattoos aren’t some new awesome thing that makes us different from the generations before us. They may be a little more acceptable now than they used to be, but people have been getting them for all sorts of reasons since about as far back as we’ve been able to trace life as a whole. For example: a corpse recovered from all the way back in the neolithic era was found to have preserved skin (it was recovered in a block of ice in 1991, right about the time every television show decided to feature frozen-caveman subplots), and on that skin were a few tattooed marks. The tats were apparently part of an old school acupuncture process, so they were used for healing rather than design, but that doesn’t make them”not tattoos”. The modern art of tattooing goes back to the Tahitian art of “Tatau”, and was brought into the “civilized” world by sailors who visited the island. That work, done with simple needles and hammers, evolved into what we have today with the advent of the double-coil tattoo gun in the late 1800s. It’s already evolved further, as ravers have been getting “invisible” black-light tattoos ( they get them for sho; they aren’t visible in daylight and show up glowing under black-lights) for years now, but where’s it all headed? Well, just like humanity, tattoos are still evolving folks, and just like us, they’re getting more and more tech savvy.
The future of tattoos, like the futures of us all, is one rooted in technological advancement. A few years back, Nokia patented a type of fero-magnetic ink that can be manipulated with magnetic fields. The ink reacts to cell signals and creates an effect where the tattooed feel their phones ringing through their skin. So yeah, that one is kind of useless for now, but other future tats are more helpful. For instance, the LED tattoos that are being developed with someday allow diabetics to get an on-the-body blood sugar reading, while “epidural electronic” technology will involve small electronics being “tattooed” into your skin and doing things like monitoring your heart or letting you know when you’re getting a sunburn. Basically, the important advancements in tattooing will be less tattoos, and more under-the-skin implants. There are other advancements in straight up body-art, but they mostly involve tats that move (like GIF images) and ink that shows up different on cell phone screens. These advancements are currently far too costly to go mainstream, so we expect medical tech tats to become popular long before traditional ink tattoos get replaced with fancy body cartoons.
Like all art and technology, tattoos are ever changing and always growing as a medium, but their beauty lies in their simplicity. In our humble opinions, even when the word “tattoo” starts to mean all sorts of different things in the future, there will still be plenty of people who just want to get regular old needlework done. However, one thing will change: new ink tech means that vegetable-based tats can be removed in as little as one laser session, and with almost no pain. So one thing will change: tats won’t be as permanent as they once were. Well, we guess tats won’t be forever anymore…but we still think that they’ll be around forever.